till forever falls apart

chapter 44: end

Later that night-

Legolas was weary from lack of sleep and his nerves were stretched taunt by each noise the forest produced, fearful that those creatures were yet near. He did not know how far he had walked through the forest or what guided his steps. He looked up and saw crows fly overhead far above the treetops. He wished he could fly, maybe then he would be able to see his father's halls and he could go home but alas he could not fly. He could go no further. His legs decided that this tree trunk was a good place upon which to lean and he sank down leaning against the tree feeling the knobbly bark upon his back and the moss and undergrowth beneath his fingertips. He leaned and reached for his water skin and drank the last of his water, the dried berries finished long before. He slipped into sleep through sheer exhaustion and entered the land of dreams...

His naneth playing her harp and he was at her knee. "Nana! he said, "You are here. You are well. They told me that you had-- had—" he could not say the words. "Sh-sh, my little leaf. I am well." She stopped strumming her harp and turned him. They were now by their favourite stream near to his father's halls. "But now I remain only in your heart. That is where you will find me." She placed her hand on her heart and then on Legolas' own. Legolas' eyes grew moist. "But why Nana? Where are you? Why did you leave us?"

Idhrenel kissed his forehead before looking into his eyes, so like his father's. A gentle smile on her face. "I did not choose to. But it is what happened. And it cannot be changed." She stroked Legolas' cheek, "I will always be in your heart, my little leaf. My Legolas..." "Legolas! Legolas!" The elfling awoke opening his eyes to meet the frantic eyes of his Adar who was shaking him. He had just woken up without his son, and had recently started looking frantically around the castle for him. "Ada!" Legolas burst into tears and clung to his Adar for all he was worth, sobbing, "I'm so sorry! I'm so sorry!" Thranduil held onto his youngest, sobs racking his own body, the icy shielding of fear and pain that had been constructed around his heart melting away as he held his son, kissing his hair whispering, "Thank the Valar I have found you!" repeatedly.

He pulled away to look into his son's deep blue eyes, searching for any sign of hidden pain that he could see, anything of shame that might haunt his young eyes. But blissfully, thankfully he saw nothing but innocence, sadness yes, but an innocent sadness. He drew in a shaky breath and silently thanked the Valar for this second deliverance. "Legolas, my heart. Can you tell me why you are out here?"

Legolas' lower lip starting trembling once again, "Nana...she died. It was Orcs. Like the ones that Nana talked of. I hated them and I thought to seek them out and kill them." Thranduil closed his eyes against the horror that could have happened. "but when I saw them, I got so scared, Ada! I could do nothing. They were so ugly and horrible looking. I just stayed frozen behind the tree and hid. I am a coward." Legolas dipped his head, blond hair gleaming in the morning light. "I could not avenge Nana's death." He whispered, young voice filled with shame and tears.

So many emotions were raging through Thranduil that he was nearly overwhelmed. Sadness, fear, anger, shock and pity for his son. Pity won out as the emotion to be dealt with. He gently lifted his son's chin with his finger, deep blue eyes of father and son meeting, "Oh, mellion you are not a coward." He stroked his son's cheek, "You acted because of the love in your heart for your," a slight catch in his voice as he thought of his beautiful Idhrenel, "for your naneth. You showed great heart. I am glad nothing happened, I could have lost you. And that I truly could not bear."

"We should begin home," A guard said and he felt bad as he interrupted the reunion of father and youngest son but he felt the need to recommend that they start their return home, now that their youngest had been found. This part of the forest was not as safe as the forest nearer to home and it would be night soon. His King's eyes once again contained life. There was sadness, questioning, even a hint of anger for interruption, but there was life. The coldness was gone.

Thranduil smiled at his guard and turned his face up to the bright sun of day. Came a musical voice into his mind, "My love, I am with you always. Our souls remained entwined. You will find me in the Halls of Waiting. I look forward to that day." His twinned heart still warmed by Idhrenel's love, Thranduil looked back to his youngest and last gift of his beloved. He stood and helped Legolas to his feet, "Let's go home."

Thranduil never spoke about his wife again and when he son grew up he told him that his mother died in Gundabad, where she was tortured, instead of in the forest. This was to stop his son's memories of his mother dying in front of him whilst trying to save him.