As we fall apart

Light and Dark ~ July 2014

Slowly, the rest of the world seemed to move on. It took them time (almost a month) but the daily camp of journalists on the road slowly dwindled until there was no one there. And there were other scandals to whip social media into a frenzy so Dec and Stephen faded back into the general noise of everyday drama.

Sometimes Dec felt like they were getting left behind. Everyone else got over what had happened, grew bored of their invasive speculation and started giving someone else the same treatment, never bothering to look back over their shoulders at the wreckage they'd created.

The investigation into the PR company was crawling along at snail's pace, although they were finding plenty of evidence to support their decision to move away from that representation. And the new guy, Simon, wasn't really that bad. He never suggested using anything to do with their private lives for attention, instantly earning himself some points after years spent dreading every meeting.

Dec felt slightly better. He knew he needed to go back to Newcastle to really get back on his feet but the Takeaway Tour took precedent for the time being. He couldn't just disappear for a week. His mum and siblings were crossing off the last few relatives who had reacted negatively to the news story, taking that painful job of trying to be patient away from him.

Stephen was more up and down. He was – brighter, overall. Maybe not always as happy as he used to be but almost glowing compared to how dim his smile had been back in May. Dec found himself falling further with every little quirk; the way his eyes gleamed when he was causing trouble, how his hand slotted into Dec's like the most natural thing in the world.

They went back to living between each other's houses; they settled back into their natural routine of teasing and comforting in equal parts; they returned to how they had been.

Some things had to change. Sometimes people would see them walking Rocky together and, the first few times, Dec felt himself tense as Stephen did the same beside him. They were both used to having photographs taken of them, accustomed to feeling watched when they were trying to get on with their day. But it was different when it was the two of them together.

Being together publicly meant they could take photos of themselves without feeling like they were creating a minefield of evidence that they were in a relationship. Stephen started to joke that they could just buy a newspaper every so often and they'd have enough pictures to last a lifetime.

The first day he slipped his hand into Dec's as they walked around the park, Dec felt himself calm down almost immediately. So maybe he'd been scared of how Stephen was finding it, scared that he wouldn't want to get close in public because of the attention it could stir up. He wriggled his hand into a more comfortable position and knocked his arm into Stephen's, not even hesitating as he continued the sentence he'd been in the middle of.

With Stephen, it was always about making everything feel normal. Dec knew he was the one who was normally ready to push things further first so he started waiting, letting Stephen move at the pace he needed to. And it was quicker than Dec expected, the speed at which Stephen settled back into the rhythm of their relationship, how he relaxed, especially in private.

The photos ended up in the tabloids the next day. Dec only knew it because Ali was emailing links of anything about them straight to him. He knew Stephen still preferred not to think about it so he didn't bring it up. But he might have actually opened that article instead of just reading the headline and rolling his eyes. And he might have looked at the pictures and smiled slightly at the expression on Stephen's face when they looked at each other.

(*~*)

July had been peaceful, besides the tour rehearsals. Simon certainly hadn't had too much work to do.