AUL/FNF Stuff (and random useless stuff)

Incorrect Quotes 2

Me: Pals' night, done right, is about bonding. Sharing problems, origin stories, secrets.

Mel: I'll start. I worked my way through school as a phone sex operator. 1-800-DJFeelGood.

Ihave1IQ: I would totally call that. Um... I used to steal cars. Okay, who's next?

Lollipops: I was forged in the bowels of Hell to torture the guilty for all of eternity.

Me: Interesting share.

Ihave1IQ: I truly believe that water can solve all your problems.

Mel: Weight loss? Drink water.

Lollipops: Clear skin? Drink water.

Me: Want to get rid of someone? Drown them.

Ihave1IQ: Imagine stabbing someone with this knife.
Mel: It would instantly cauterize the wound, so the person wouldn't bleed, so it's not very useful.
Lollipops: if you want information it is
Me: why would you STAB a person when you can have TOAST?

Mel & Lollipops in the back of the taxi car: MCDONALDS! MCDONALDS! MCDONALDS!
Me and Ihave1IQ: We have food at home.
Taxi driver: *pulls into the McDonald's drivethrough*
Mel & Lollipops: YAYYYYYY!
Mel: *orders one black coffee and leaves*

Lollipops: Those darn tall old people.
Mel: Darn em' indeed.
Me: Don't worry, they'll be gone soon enough.
Ihave1IQ: *sharpening knife* Yes. Dead.
The Squad:
Ihave1IQ: Hahaha.
Ihave1IQ: ...Is this self-destructive behavior?

Me: What's your biggest fear?
Mel: That I'll never be good enough for anyone.
Lollipops: Everyone hates me and talks about me behind my back.
Ihave1IQ: Ghosts.
Mel: ...
Lollipops: ...
Ihave1IQ: BUT they can go through walls.

Lollipops: I'm bored.
Ihave1IQ: Wanna commit first degree murder?
Lollipops: Sure!
Mel, hearing them: No- Stop, don't do that! Put that knife down! Put WesternGirl12 down!!

Ihave1IQ: You were stabbed. Do you remember anything?
Mel: Only the ambulance ride to the hospital.
Ihave1IQ: That wasn't an ambulance, WesternGirl12's dad drove you.
Mel: But I heard a siren.
Me: That was Lollipops.
Lollipops: Sorry, I got nervous.

Ihave1IQ: How late were you up last night?
Me & Mel, in tandem: Me?
Ihave1IQ: No, not you two. You stay up late all the time.
Ihave1IQ, to Lollipops: You.
Lollipops: I was just getting midnight snacks.

Ihave1IQ: Could you guys at least try to see this from my perspective?
Lollipops: *crouches down*
Me: *kneels down*
Mel: *sits on the floor*
Ihave1IQ:
Ihave1IQ: I hate all of you.

Me: Die.
Ihave1IQ: Please don't die!
Me: DIE!
Ihave1IQ: PLEASE DON'T DIE!
Mel, confused: Why are they yelling at a plant?
Lollipops, watching while eating popcorn: They bought it together and Ihave1IQ wants WesternGirl12 to accept it as their kid.
Mel: lmao?