Reinvent love | Ryden | ENG

10

Elizabeth pov

Ryan, not finishing his tiramisu, suddenly runs out of the house, totally upset. Earlier he texted someone but got no response.
I get up from the table and start cleaning up. I keep thinking about this whole situation, even though I shouldn't care much.
Me and Ryan were together once, but it was never anything serious. We dated sometime in 2010, when he was just starting out with The Young Veins. I knew well that he would never love me like I loved him. He started meeting with him at Overpass. In the spring of 2013, he was so happy and proud because Brendon supposedly proposed to him. Not long after, I kept him from hurting himself because Brendon married Sarah. After that, Ryan was never the same again. He became so antisocial. He continued to go to The Overpass to do it with him. When they closed that pub he became even more mysterious. All I know is that he missed Brendon because they hadn't seen each other since 2016, probably. Now that he met him in Seattle, overnight he decided to move back to LA and rented an apartment. I went with him because he's Ryan. My dear Ryan. Poor, unemployed, hardly having money to feed Dottie and Elwood, but still Ryan. He's back in the studio, recording an album and promising to give me every cent he borrowed. I, however, doubt I'll ever see my money invested in him. But it's not important. I hope he finally comes to his senses and starts living. I have found my place here. I work at a small music store not far from home and spend my free time writing my own songs. I haven't been able to create anything good enough since "Get Z To A Nunnery", but I'm not giving up. And maybe, if I smile at Brendon, he'll find me some cool, inexpensive recording studio to rent and then take me on tour as support.... Ah, dreams...

- - -

I get dressed in a sexy dress and go out to a club. I'm going to a party with my friends. Walking through the park, I notice a man crying on a bench.
- Brendon? - I ask, coming closer.
He lifts his head up and looks at me with glassy eyes.
- Oh, Z. It's you. - He says and tries to smile.
- Is something wrong? - I sit down next to him.
- Everything is wrong. My wife is cheating on me with my best friend... And Ryan! - he theatrically puts one hand over his heart and puts the other to his forehead. - Ryan lied to me! He hid that the Moonlight, that pub...? The bar? I don't know how to call it, it belongs to him. - He says, and his voice breaks.
- Ryan?! - I'm as surprised as he is. - He didn't tell me either. He only wants money for food for Elwood and Dottie. - I answer and put my arm around his shoulder. - And don't cry, your wife doesn't matter. If she can't appreciate you, it's her loss. And that friend of yours... I guess he wasn't a friend at all, if he did such a bad thing to you. - I add, comfortingly rubbing his shoulder.
- I thought Sarah loved me... And that Jake was my Vro... I totally don't get it... - He sighs and lowers his gaze to his shoes. - And I thought me and Ryan had no secrets from each other. I was so wrong. I regret trusting him again... I was so stupid to fall in love with him so many years ago.... - tears are running down his cheeks again.
- Don't cry. It's not worth it. - I whisper, stroking his hair. - Come on, I'm going to a club with my friends. You can have a little fun with us.
Brendon wipes his tears with the edge of his hand and gets up.
- Let's go. - He agrees and shakes my hand.
I take his hand gently and move towards the club, where they are probably already waiting for me.

- - -

We enter The Whisky. Rexford is playing his short set today. Apparently a pretty good musician. Nick waves to me as soon as he spots us, so I grab Brendon tighter and push him to friends' table.
- Hi! - I say hello and sit down. - This is Bren. He'll be with us tonight. - I add, pointing at the boy.
Urie smiles gently and leaves us heading for the bar. I just hope he doesn't get drunk.
- You finally made time for us, Z! - Hinman chuckles and takes a sip of his drink.
- Someone has to work... - I reply, flipping my hair to one side. - I'm going to order something and I'll be right back. - I walk up to the bar and stop next to Brendon.
I order a drink with an orange and look at him.
- Come join us. You shouldn't be alone right now. - I say putting my hand on his shoulder.
- I'll join, but give me a second, okay? - he answers and empties his glass of whisky. - Another one, sir! - he calls out and looks at me. - Don't worry, Z. I'm not stupid. - He adds and takes the alcohol from the bartender with a smile. - Shall we go? - He points at the table.
- Yes. - I take my drink and go with him to the rest.
As soon as we are at the table, Nick grabs me around the waist and makes me sit on his lap. B takes the seat next to Dan and looks up at the singing man. He begins to listen in. He nods his head in rhythm.
Not much later, he totally kicks in and starts having a lively discussion with Dan. Keyes is totally fascinated by Urie and successfully draws his thoughts away from Ryan. I think Bden's charm won everyone over to him.

- - -

We enter my apartment. Dan leads a drunk Brendon and Nick keeps holding me around the waist and singing the Mendes song "Señorita" he heard on the radio. The rest of the Palm Sprinsteen guys have washed off to their houses before this party really gets going.
- Put him over there in the living room. - I say, pointing to the couch. - Thanks for the help Dan. - I smile at Keyes.
- You're welcome Z. See you later! - he says and leaves.
By the time I cover Urie with a blanket, he's already asleep. I glance suggestively at Nick. Hinman pulls me closer and kisses me passionately. I pull him by his shirt toward my room. I lock the door behind us. I kiss him again. Nick unzips my dress and slides it off me in a quick motion. I take off his shirt before we both fall onto the soft bed. Hinman kisses my neck and collarbone as I struggle to remove his pants. Nick reaches his hand to the clasp from my bra, trying to unfasten it in the dark. I manage to pull down his pants, which I immediately throw somewhere in the corner. We get rid of our underwear. Hinman's kisses are all over my body now. I bite the boy's ear while sensually sliding my hand down his torso.
- I love you, Z - he whispers.
I feel my heartbeat speed up. I have never thought of Nick the way he thinks of me. Our relationship has always been friends with benefits. I can't love someone else after Ryan, who I gave my heart to, crushed it and threw it away. That's why we had our last fight and that's why I left Palm Sprinsteen.
- Nick, we shouldn't. - I raise myself to a sitting position, covering myself with my hand.
- Is something wrong, Z? - He asks, sitting down next to me.
I feel him putting his arm around me and resting his chin on my shoulder.
I look straight into his eyes, which sparkle in the moonlight coming through the unblinded window.
- I can't Nick. - I reply. - I don't want to give you false hope. - I add and look away.
- Z, honey, I'm sorry. I just... I just want you close, even if it's just as a friend. I know you don't believe in love. - He replies, pushing my hair out of my face. - Look at me, Z. - he asks and gently lifts my head.
- Don't worry Nick. I'm not leaving. - I smile at him.
An awkward silence falls between us.
I feel Nick puts his arms around my waist and lays back down on the pillows. I snuggle up to him. We lie there in silence. I listen to his heartbeat.
I can't spend my whole life denying myself feelings because of Ryan.
I make a risky decision.
I want to try with Nick again.
I kiss him passionately.