Reinvent love | Ryden | ENG

37

Brendon pov

The second day after Ryan leaves for the tour. Right after breakfast I head to Possessed. Pete will be there before 10 because I want him to be present for the meeting with Forêt De Vin.
- Good morning, boss! - The bartender says hello.
- Good morning, Nick! - I answer and come closer. - No problems? - I ask, leaning against the bar top.
- No problem, boss. - He says, wiping the glasses clean.
An employee like that is a decent employee. Nick turned down the chance to tour the U.S. with Ryan and came to work for me because he'll make more money. It'll come in handy, because he's getting married soon, and a wedding is a big expense. He confessed to me recently that Berg offered him to continue being Ryan's support, but he wanted Nick to play for free because, after all, he's not going to pay his almost son-in-law, right?
- Going to my office. When Pete Wentz arrives, offer him something to drink, at my expense of course, and let me know he's here, okay? - I give the order.
- Of course, boss. - He nods his head.
- And get over calling me "boss". I am Brendon and we've been drinking together before, so you can consider yourself my friend. - I add and move to the back room.
- Okay, boss. I mean, okay, Brendon. - He smiles and gets back to work.
I head to my office and go through my paperwork. I check to see if the profit and expense balances match up and by when I have to pay my electric bills, water bills, etc. Even though I have two more weeks, I pay the bills.
- Brendon, Pete is here. - Nick looks into the office.
- I'm on my way. - I counter and turn off my laptop.
I close the office and head to the bar. I sit down with Pete in one of the boxes and start a conversation.
- Do you think they really want to record a collab with you? - Wentz asks.
- Yeah. They've offered it to me before. - I say truthfully.
- We have to agree on the best possible terms. Don't worry, I will make sure of it. - He smiles at me.
- Good morning! - a voice comes to me.
I turn around. It's the guys from Forêt De Vin.
- Good morning! - I stand up and hold out my hand. - I am Brendon.
The guys shake my hand and introduce themselves too. We sit down at a table.
- Pete Wentz, Brendon's friend and manager. - Pete introduces himself and moves closer to me.
- So, what's the proposition? - I ask.
- Remember when we were chatting with you on Twitch? - asks one of them and I nod. - We want to record a collab with you.
- It's a very good proposal. Ever since I first heard you guys, I've wanted to record something with you... - I say, but Wentz interjects.
- What are the terms? Income from the single half-and-half? How about promotion? Will you shoot a video? - He asks a lot of questions.
- Yes, income half and half. We will promote on our social media and we would like Brendon to too, at least a post or two. - the brunet explains to us. - We haven't thought about the music video yet, but that's still to talk about. Do you have any more questions?
- Yes. When can we start? - I ask enthusiastically.
- Tomorrow. We have to go back to Sweden in a month. - They explain.
- Great! Let's move to the label's office now and get all the formalities done. I will show you around! - I get up from my seat excitedly.
The rest of us gather our things. We all get into my Tesla and head out.

- - -

Third day without Ryan in the house. I reluctantly get out of bed and get ready for work. Yesterday after getting the paperwork done, I took the guys from Forêt De Vin to Possessed for a drink. It didn't end with one and I woke up with a hangover this morning.
Ryan would not approve of this - I hear a voice in my head.
After breakfast I go to the studio. Ryan's "Live Evil" is playing on the radio. I sing along with the recording and tap my fingers on the steering wheel. I pull into the parking lot and leave my car. I'm greeted at the entrance by the guys.
- Ready for work, B? - asks the taller one.
- Yes. - I walk in with them and am led to my studio.
The guys sit down on the sofa and I sit down at my desk.
- Even before we contacted you, we wrote this piece. Look if you like it or would you rather write something new? - hands me a piece of paper with the text.
I read it carefully.
- It's great, but I would add something in the bridge... - I reply and take a pen in my hand.
I write down a few lines that just appeared in my head. I write, draw, correct and finally!
- I think it's better this way - I give them the paper.
They read it in silence.
- It's definitely better this way! You are brilliant, Brendon! - they praise me.
Ryan would probably criticize you. Remember how he underestimated you... He thought he was the best lyricist of the century...
There's that voice in my head again.
No... Ryan's not like that. He's changed. I'm sure he'll love it.
My thoughts are interrupted by the sound of a message. I glance at the screen.
A new message from: RyRo <3
'You know, I thought our relationship was for real this time. I was disappointed.'
I read a few times before I write back.
'Ryan, I don't know what this is about. I'll call you after work then we'll talk, love you.'
A few minutes later another text comes in.
RyRo <3: 'You know, I don't think we have anything to talk about, Brendon.'
And then another.
RyRo <3: 'And if you don't know what this is about just type your name into Google or just turn on Twitter!'
I nervously fire up Twitter.
Oh shit!
Someone took pictures of me with the guys from Forêt De Vin at Possessed. Some of them look ambiguous, but damn it, nothing happened between us!
- Sorry guys. Emergency situation. I'll be right back. - I say and walk out of the studio.
I lock myself in the bathroom and dial Ryan's number. I call three times, but Ryan doesn't answer. I dial Elizabeth, who went on tour with him. She should be able to help me. Z picks up after four rings.
- 'Brendon?' - she is surprised.
- Yes, Z. Could you put Ryan on the phone for me? I called, but he seems to have been disconnected. - I'm lying. I know he's offended.
- 'Sure. I'll find him right away. He left his hotel room nervously. He's probably holed up in the library corner on the first floor reading poetry.' - she replies.
I hear her footsteps as she walks up the stairs. A moment later whispers reach me.
- 'Ryan, Brendon to you. / I don't want to talk to him. / Ryan, don't be such a gnome. The love of your life calls you, and you're freaking out?! / All right, give it to me.' - a moment of murmuring follows. - 'Brendon, I told you we had nothing to talk about.'
- Ryan, I can explain. Those pictures... Nothing happened. Someone just captured the situation from the wrong angle. - I'm explaining it to him. - I love you and only you, Ryan.
- 'Somehow I find that hard to believe.' - he replies.
A silence falls between us. I don't know what to add. He doesn't want to talk to me.
- Ryan, do you love me? I'm sure you do. Then trust me, please. - I whisper into the phone.
Instead of Ryan's reassurance that yes, he loves and trusts, I hear the sound of the call ending.
I move the phone away from my ear and stare at the dark screen. I wonder if I should try again. I decide to give him time and call him tonight once the emotions have subsided. I return to the studio with a forced smile. Private life is one thing. Work is another. They shouldn't affect each other.

- - -

I come home tonight. I take another look at the photos from Possessed. I'm mad at myself for not making sure the meeting stayed private. I sit down on my bed and call Ryan. Again, he doesn't answer.
- He probably has a concert... - I say to myself, but who am I kidding. He's offended.
So many times it hasn't worked out for us. I'm surprised that this time I thought maybe it would be different after all and work out. Stupid me. I put my phone back on the cabinet and snuggle my head into my pillow. It still smells like Ryan. I miss him so damn much. I cover myself with a blanket and try to fall asleep.
Maybe this is all just a bad dream...?

- - -

The morning's not any better. It wasn't a bad dream at all. Ryan is actually offended at me.
With even more reluctance than yesterday I get out of bed. I look in the mirror. I look terrible. I take a quick shower, comb my hair, and after a breakfast consisting of a slice of bread spread with mustard, I make one more attempt to talk with Ryan. Ross again doesn't pick up. I check the internet to see what city Ryan is in so I can go to him. I'm not letting go that easily. Ryan is in...
Seattle!
I'm checking the nearest flight to Seattle when Pete calls me. I completely forgot that the guys from Forêt De Vin are waiting for me at the studio. And they've been waiting for over half an hour.
- Yeah, Pete. I know, I know. I'm on my way. - I say, without letting him say anything, and gather myself to leave.
I have to give up on my plan. I hope Ryan finally picks up. Or calls back.