Grain & Blood | A Hunger Games collection

System Overload: Chapter ten

Kamalyn

I can't even move. That's how much I messed up. Why did I stab myself in the heart to escape from this world? It wouldn't have worked, everything in this room is so danger and suicide proof that I'm surprised I even managed to kill myself. Or at least that's what I've been told. Jake and the other surgeons managed to save me, but it took a while, apparently.

"Kamalyn, do you want painkillers?" Jake asks from beside my bed.

"No, I'll- I'll be fine."

"Are you sure?"

No, I'm not sure. But I hate needles and so I'll just pretend that I'm okay.

"Yeah, I'm fine."

He sighs but lets it go. "One of the nurses brought you something earlier. A note from someone. Do you want me to read it out?"

It's a reply from Iris. What if she noticed the heart and mentioned it, and then Jake is going to read it? How does that work out?

"Yes please."

"Hey. I'm doing alright, just quite bored. I'm getting off lightly, which is a relief. But the question should surely be if you're alright? I can tell that I messed your arms up, the note you sent isn't your handwriting. Being shut up in this room all alone sucks but you've probably got it worse, with the head injury, punctured stomach, slashed open arms and all the other stab wounds. Good luck."

No mention of the heart. Maybe she just didn't notice it, But the Iris I know sees it all. She doesn't miss any details and she tends to mention them. "Oh. Thanks."

"Who is it from?" Ever curious, and I can't really lie about this.

"It's from- It's from Iris."

"So you're still trying to communicate with her. Even after she almost killed you, you want to know that girl, and you care about her enough to send her notes. Why?"

"Just because she tried to kill me doesn't mean that I don't care about her. I tried to kill myself and that doesn't mean that I don't- actually I don't care about myself, but that's beside the point. You're forgetting that we were both homicidal child killers at some point."

"I'm not forgetting anything. She tried to kill you. That wasn't your choice, but your attempted suicide was."

"To be honest I didn't mind that she tried to kill me. It was very... inventive."

"It may have been, as you say, inventive, but I didn't really appreciate it, thanks. You may have hurt your little heart, but I haven't slept for two days, keeping you alive. If you don't appreciate that, then I won't and you can just die."

"Yes, I 'hurt my little heart' but maybe that's for the better. I don't even care about you anymore. Actually, I never-"

"You never- you never loved me?"

"No. I never cared."

"How? I thought you-"

"I never did, just accept it. I've only ever loved Benedict, he was the only boy ever. And when you were trying to get all 'in love' with me after the Hunger Games, after I'd just lost the boy I loved, that didn't help. You knew that. And for me, it's now time to move on. And you should just understand that."

"So who's your new... boyfriend?" he spits out the word like it'll burn his soul.

"Let's see if you can guess. She has light brown hair, green eyes and tried to kill me with plates."

"WHAT!?" And now he's mad. Of course he is. Jake is smart, he's figured it out.

"Iris is the girl I love." God it sounds so wrong saying that.

"Why though? You hate each other. There's no reason for you to choose her over me."

"We used to hate each other. Now we're... friends of sorts."

"Friends? It seems to be a bit more than that."

"Just drop it, okay? I appreciate you, but it's nothing more than that." I don't even appreciate him.

He sighs. "Can we- uh- be friends at least?"

"Sure."

"About those painkillers..."

"Go ahead."

I'm out of ideas for author's notes, I doubt you want to read a pointless rant about my lack of sleep, it means nothing. I'm going straight to sleep after this, I want to wake up in the morning today. Unlike yesterday when I slept in to lunchtime, which is crazy. Crazy, but still only like seven hours of sleep. 

-Katherine