The Other Side

#14 Regret

Ben had walked me too the jail in silence. It wasn't a good silence but one filled with empty thoughts and silent questions.

I could feel his mind buzzing next to me but I walked head down.

I walked straight to my cell where he looked at me with sad eyes before locking the door.

I collapsed onto my bed and looked at the roof covered in peeling paint.

Max walks over to his bars and I can see him out of the corner of my eye.

"What happened?" His tired voice makes me aware that it is now late at night. The jail was far from the police station, it was a long walk.

"They found my brother"

"Luke?" He questions and I glance over at him. He looked tired. His brown hair disheveled and his red top crinkled. He had a new bruise forming under his right eye.

"What happened to you?" My voice came out quietly

"David dropped in for the day. Didn't like my idea of trying to escape..."

"Why would you escape!?" I yell at him and he cowers back "you couldn't find me. I was at the police station and you wouldn't have gotten answers if you couldn't find me. Why risk it!? Goodness Max! Were you thinking!"

"Yes" He speaks one word and his gaze became more intense then ever "I was thinking about you and your safety. I wasn't trying to escape the jail but I escaped kitchen duty. I picked the lock on the office door and was looking for a file or clue on where my partner was"

"Sorry" I whispered and I meant it. Today had scrambled my brain and I couldn't be seen like this. They could manipulate me in this state of mind.

"Sophie don't cry" he sounded truly concerned and I hadn't even realised I had been crying but I was.

Tears were spilling from my eyes, down my face, into my hair and landing on the pillow.

I roll over while Max whispers sweet nothings to my back. I didn't bother yelling at him for trying to comfort me. For once I actually needed it.

The comfort felt wrong but I just wasn't used to it.

After a while I heard Max's bed creak and a silent snore traveled to my room.

I sat up and dangled my legs off of my bed. I couldn't sleep and neither could he.

He didn't scare me, I half expected him to be there. That was when I realised I had wished he would be there waiting for me.

"What happened today?" Ben's hair looked a mess from attempted sleep. I took in his dark blue eyes that matched his dark navy pyjama pants. He leaned on the bars holding very little of his own weight. I now had a full view of his wide arms and toned chest but I wasn't thinking straight from the day. I never thought like that, ever.

"How many prisoners have you done this for?" I ask distracting myself.

"Only the special ones" he smirks easily.

"Special?" I question, my tired eyes running back to his arms. I had never seen a male like this before. It was uncalled for and impractical at the Other Side. Only time you would see a male in that state would be when you were to bare a child. Never any other time.

I was suddenly glad for the darkness as my cheeks turned hot and crimson from my train of thought.

"So far my list is only you but I couldn't sleep. That's why I'm here. And I'm curious"

"I wasn't prepared to meet my family" I look at my hands folded on top of my green pyjama pants.

"Did you want to write a speech?" Ben laughs and I nearly did too, it was contagious. I must have been so worn out.

"No, I just don't know what to do Ben" I shake my head as I feel fresh tears threatening.
"For years I have felt unwanted. I meant what I said earlier about everyone hating me that I grew up with. Max says it's cause their jealous but I thought it was because I was different. Because my real family was rich but didn't want me. But it doesn't make a difference. I'm going back to the Other Side where I'm hated and despised with no real family. Without knowing them. The only difference is that I will be with Max"

"Do you like him?"

"What?" My head shot up at his words. The thought of choice.

"Do you like Max?" He asks again. My eyes travel down to his toned chest and abs but I quickly look past him into Max's cell where he was snoring quietly. I could live with that.

"He's my match. I will marry him and love with him. I have no choice in this" it was the first time the thought actually saddened me. Not that I was to be his and not my own but the fact that I wouldn't be with someone I actually loved in return.

"That's not what I meant Sophie" Ben looked deep into my eyes "I was asking whether your happy"

"I guess.."

"No guessing" he shakes his head "you need to listen to your heart Sophie"

"And you do?" I felt venerable being this open

He starts nodding like he was thinking of a reasonable answer "I have responsibilities but I make sure my heart has an impact"

"What do you think I should do, out of curiosity?" I tilt my head waiting for an amusing answer.

"I think you don't love Max. Max wants a girl that he can protect and keep from harm and you can't offer that. You want to protect and make your own rules. You've got a free spirit and you want someone that can support you decisions not matter how deluded they are. You want to feel loved and like you belong. You can't be forced"
"I suggest that you should be on your best behaviour and when released, find your own road. Find someone to support you and care for you but not keep you from harms way. Go live an adventure"

I couldn't speak. Was I that obvious to read?

"I hope one day you get the chance to meet your family again like today. Maybe in better circumstances but I know that a parent misses their child and will always want them. Your parents mightn't of know"

"I think my father does. The way he looked at me today" I whisper

Ben only nods leaving me with my questions to answer by myself. He turns and walks into the office door as the Orange morning light warms my room.

I knew what I had to do