Chance of Love

Chapter 4

"Can you tell me why you are afraid to be alone with me?" Mark asked, sitting next to her on the couch but not too closely.

Amanda pondered his question for a moment. It was a question she had tried to solve herself many times before.

"It has nothing to do with you personally," she began. "I'm afraid of all men."

Amanda could see a thousand questions in Mark's eyes. She didn't think she had the courage to answer them all.

"But why are you afraid of men?" he persisted.

"Something....happened to me when I was a little girl..."she stammered. "I was...molested by the boys in my class."

She saw Mark's eyes widen in shock and disbelief.

"Oh my God," he said, grabbing her hands gently. "Can you tell me about it?"

Amanda wanted to leave, to escape before Mark found out about her shameful past. How could she still be sitting there with him, holding hands like he cared at all?

"I...don't think I can," she murmured, bowing her head, feeling more tears roll down her cheeks and drop onto her legs.

"How old were you when it happened?" he asked gently, ignoring her last remark.

"I was ten," she replied.

Mark swore softly. The language somehow got to her. She suddenly realized that he was on her side, that she could trust him with her story.

With a few more questions from Mark, Amanda told him how that boys in her class had been playing a game called Truth or Dare when one of the boys had been dared to touch her on the 'crotch' (a different 'c' word was used).

Amanda had been outside on the playground minding her own business when she saw all the boys from her class come running around the corner of the school. Too late, she realized they were after her. She started to run, but the boys kept chasing her and they caught her at the rear side of the school. She tried to scream, to yell for help, but the boys covered her mouth. They all crowded around her, excited by their game. Four of the boys grabbed her arms and legs and held her down. She struggled, but the boys were too strong. They were chanting dirty words and she was too frightened to believe what was happening.

The boy who had been dared to touch her stood and stared at her. Her eyes pleaded with him not to do it, but he too was overpowered by the rest of the boys. Reaching down, he picked up a rotten apple off the ground. As if in slow motion, Amanda saw him touch her vagina with it. She was horrified, shocked. Struggling even harder, she broke free from their grip. She ran away and a couple of the boys chased her, almost in a frenzy. She didn't want to contemplate what else they might have done to her. She ran back around to the front of the school.

She tried to tell the principal what the boys had done, but he just told her to stop being a tattletale and go back outside and play.

That's all Amanda remembered about that day. She told her mom about the incident that evening and her mom asked her if she was hurt. Well, no, not physically. Her mother never mentioned the incident to her again.

After a long moment of silence, Mark finally asked, "Didn't anybody do anything about it?"

"My parents had a meeting with the boys' parents. The boys got in trouble. They never bothered me again, except to call me a 'fink.'"

Mark swore again bitterly. "It must have been horrible for you. Didn't your parents try to help you get over it?"

After a moment, Amanda replied, "I guess they figured they'd helped me by getting the boys punished. I eventually buried the incident deep in my mind, trying to deny that it had ever happened. It was my only defense, I suppose."