Snowbaz Fanfic

Wanderlust (Part Five)

Everything turns bright and my insides feel like they're burning. Merlin, I had forgotten what magic felt like- what Baz's magic felt like. It had been ages since I had felt such strong power around me, if not within, and I think I didn't have the tolerance for it anymore. Too caught up in the fiery emanation of it all, I don't even think about what he meant by the word "home".

***

Simon

Oh, so this is what he meant...

We stand in an empty apartment, white walls, plain floors- fully unfurnished.

Nothing comes out of my mouth while Baz's question lingers in the air between us.

He taps his fingers against his hip awkwardly and looks at me, eyes wide and expectant. I don't say a thing. I mean, what can I say?

This was so sudden- and so, so uncalled for- I really don't know what to say.

"Simon... will you?" He carefully tugs at my hand, like he's scared to piss me off. 

"What?" I didn't mean for it to sound so abrupt and almost rude, but- what?

He pulls back his hand instantly, "I asked," he repeats himself slowly, "would you want to start... living together? Moving in?"

I press my lips together in a tight smile. 

"Is that a yes?"

"No. I mean, it's not a no altogether, but, it's not a yes either-"

"Look, if you're not going to say anything then we might as well bloody leave, Snow. We're just wasting time at this point."

He's turned away from me, his guards are up again and he's acting stand-offish. 

Great, I ruined the one moment that Baz chooses to be vulnerable and open up.

"Baz," I wait for him to face me again but he doesn't, "Baz." 

I strain my voice harder almost commanding him- and I'm surprised he listens.

"When did you even plan this?"

"I wasn't in it alone... Bunce helped."

"Wait, she knows about this? She knew that you were going to ask? How long?"

"A month now, maybe. She was glad to help and why wouldn't she be, really- there's only so much you that a person can handle."

"Wait, so, she wants me to move out?"

"No- she doesn't what you to move out. She wants you to move in with me. There's a difference, Snow."

I am confused by every word in that sentence but I nod along.

"So, yes or no?" He's eyeing me, slightly annoyed.

"Baz, I love you, but-"

"You love me?" His voice sounds dull, but his face shines with nothing but shock.

Oh, I realised that I hadn't actually said it to him yet.

He tries to look as calm as possible but every other thing about him seems to be hysteric on another level. I try to think of the best reply to his question and it seems to be- another question.

"Does that change anything between us?" I look away because if the answer to that is 'yes', then I definitely don't want him to hurt me like that and see me cry about it.

This time he is the one who doesn't say anything. The silence makes me heady and I realise how awkward it was for him to be left on the hook for his question and now I just feel like an arsehole.

"No. No, it doesn't."

"Good then. Because yes, I love you. I kind of have for a while now." 

I have my hands crossed in a formal stance, as if I'm waiting to testify. Probably not the way to tell someone you love them. 

"Fair enough. The feeling's mutual." His eyes shift away and we both share the most awkwardly formal, brisk handshake- followed by the warmest hug ever. 

I feel the tears make their way up to my eyes but I'm not sad- I'm happy, I'm just so happy.

He's tearing up too, from all the laughter, and I think that this could have gone worse. But it didn't. And now we're not just boyfriends.

We're boyfriends in love.

We're boyfriends in love who are potentially moving in together.

"Baz, are you sure with the whole moving in thing?"

"After what just happened, I think it's safe enough?" He smiles.

"Yeah, but, what if you, I don't know, go back to wanting to kill me again because I forget to lock the door one day? Or maybe you go ballistic and try to steal my voice again? Or maybe drink my blood? I mean I trust you and all- but you were a nightmare roommate to have Baz!" All the memories from past years come flooding in and every worry rolls off of my tongue.

Wow... Baz used to be dangerous.

"That sounds like more of a you problem, really." He remarks before grinning nefariously.

I let out a strange noise that perfectly conveys my dumbfoundedness.

He completely ignores it and goes in for a kiss. I let him, who cares if he's probably going to want to murder me someday, because if this is how I go- living with him and waking up to see him every day- It'll be a heavenly way to die. 

***

Yup... It's been over a month..... haha.... (。_。)