Kaz Brekker imagines

Nightmares

Comforting people was one of the things Y/N could say she was an expert at.

When Y/N was younger she grew up in somewhat of a big family. She had lots of younger cousins who were like siblings.

The one downfall to that was she grew up too fast.

She wasn't able to enjoy her childhood to the fullest like the rest of her cousins. She was always stuck playing babysitter or mom.

She didn't have any friends to hangout with so she was always with family. And she was never really able to ever get the comfort she gave so willingly in return.

It ended up taking a toll on her, so when she turned seventeen she left home and moved to Ketterdam.

She could never pinpoint what made her want to choose Ketterdam of all places.

After about a week in the Barrel she found herself sitting with the crows at the Crow Club.

She never knew what exactly made Kaz walk up to her one afternoon and offer her a place among the Dregs, but she would be forever grateful.

Four years later Kaz and Y/N were in an established relationship. Dating for two years now and Y/N was finally able to seek the comfort she's always wanted.

She now had a hand to hold in the dark and a shoulder to lean on.

But every once in a while she missed being the hand to hold and the shoulder to lean on.

~*~

In her small room, she sat curled up in a chair with a cup of tea reading her new book, dressed in plaid pajama pants and a black button up shirt she stole from Kaz's closet.

She groaned when she heard footsteps pacing back and forth upstairs.

Placing her book down, she left her room and started walking up the stairs to his bedroom.

She knocked gently on the door but didn't hear his pacing stop. He always knew when she was at the door and he never ignored her...

Confused, she pushed the door open slightly and saw a distressed Kaz pacing and running his hands through his hair.

A small gasp slipped through her lips when she saw the state he was in. She closed the door behind her and rushed toward him.

Holding his shoulders in her hands, making him look at her, she noticed his bloodshot eyes and tears streaming down his cheeks.

"I'm fine." He grunted out to which she shook her head, "You are not fine. What happened? Are you hurt?"

He shook his head as Y/N led them to his bed. She sat down next to him, pulling him close to her, resting his head on her shoulder.

"You have to tell me what happened in order for me to help you. It hurts me to see you like this, my love."

He wrapped his arms around her so his frame was engulfing her.

"Nightmare."

He hated how weak he sounded, like a wounded child. He never wanted Y/N to see him like this which is why he never told her about his nightmares.

He knew how she used to take care of all the younger kids in her family and how she never got any of that care back. So he made it his goal to be that safety and comfort for her.

He didn't need her worrying over him. She had enough on her plate.

He would watch as she took care of the other crows as a mother would. Making sure they were all unharmed and safe when they all got back to the Slat.

That's five people she was taking care of, he didn't want to add another one.

But what Kaz didn't know was that Y/N wanted needed to be there for him.

She wanted to be the hand he holds and the shoulder he leans on.

She wouldn't tell him, but sometimes she felt unnecessary, like he didn't need her like she needed him.

So when she saw him pacing, his hand in his hair and red puffy eyes, she couldn't help but let her heart break.

She has never seen him so anxious.

She climbed farther on the bed and laid down, bringing Kaz with her.

Resting his head on her chest and his arms on her waist, he placed a kiss on her collarbone.

She ran her hands through his hair and started humming softly.

"What song is that?" He murmured after a few moments.

"I used to sing this song to my younger cousins." She smiled at the memories.

"Can you sing to me?" Y/N's smile grew as she nodded.

If I could fly

I'd be comin' right back home to you

I think I might give up everything, just ask me to

Pay attention, I hope that you listen

'Cause I let my guard down

Right now I'm completely defenseless

For your eyes only

I'll show you my heart

For when you're lonely

And forget who you are

I'm missing half of me

When we're apart

Now you know me

For your eyes only

For your eyes only

She looked down and saw him sleeping peacefully, "Sleep well, my love."