Helenax reader

Im not drunk

**tw, slight mention of suicide**
Still in shock, I was still staring off into space. I couldn't believe what just happened. Abigail found a cup and filled it with water and then handed it to me along with the medicine. "Abigail" i whispered

"Yes?" "wha- did that really happen, is she really here?" "yes" she smiled with sorrow and put her hand on my cheek.  I started breathing fast and heavy and then started shaking. "Hey hey! it's ok love" "no i just embarrassed myself in front of everyone, on top of that it was because of HELENA BONHAM CARTER!" i was now crying

When I was about 14 or 15. I had a HUGE crush on Helena Bonham Carter. Big surprise. It got bad, and I fell in love with her, but i knew it was stupid because she didn't have any idea who i was and i thought i'd never in a million years meet her,and even if I did nothing else could happen.

Soo, I... tried to kill myself..and Abigail found me. I tried to use pills for my way out so she does not let me have those in my home anymore if they can harm me. It took a while but eventually I got better and tried to forget about Helena. Every now and then I would think about her, but i was ok. Until now

Also, Rick doesn't know about all that, as far as he knows i'm 'perfectly straight'. He also doesn't know about the depression and the medicine.

"You should talk to her" Abigaik said blankly. "what?? no!" " yes! there's no reason for you not to, and then we can go party. You and her could be friends." "ok fine" "alright come on, it'll be fun. She smiled and interlocked her arm with mine.

We went back out to the red carpet and camera lights were flashing in my face again. "Y/n y/n!!" all i could think about was Helena though, what would i even say to her?

Helena was taking pictures and I don't even know where Rick went. "Go talk to her!" Abigail whispered and pushed me. I turned around and glared at her. But she was right, i did need to talk to her. What was the problem anyways i was over her... i have a boyfriend.

"Go!" she whispered So i started walking towards her. Helena had her hands on her hips and doing different poses for some pictures. Ok she's still hot though, but I still have a boyfriend and that's all i think about her is she's hot, Abigail thinks i'm hot, so why can't I think she's hot in a friend way?

When i got closer she turned around away from the paparazzi and took a breath and as she turned back around to face back at them she saw me. So she then turned towards me and smiled.

As i was walking she walked a little towards me until we got to eachother. "I am so sorry Miss Bonhamcarter!" I held out my hand and she shook it "Oh god quite alright you don't have to apologize" then she hugged me . Again i just stood there not knowing what to do and was shocked. She let go of me and smiled. "are you ok?" "oh yes ma'am i'm ok, again i'm so sorry!" "it's finneee. I thought you absolutely hated me!" "nooo far from that!" i laughed and so did she

"well that's good because i have always wanted to meet you after i watched your movies."  "what?? me? really?!" She laughed  "yes of course, for your age and almost just starting you are REALLY GOOD" "pfft you don't have to lie" i laughed "I AM NOT LYING you are really good like your amazing!" "oh stop, have you seen yourself YOUR the amazing one!! I have been obsessed with you forever!"

She blushed and looked down "well thank you" she interlocked her fingers together and was twiddling her thumbs. She was so cute.

"Well who are you going to hangout with at the party?" "I actually have no idea really" "oh.. well you could hang with me.. if you wanted to but um im pretty sure in about an hour im going to be black out drunk and Abigail is probably going to drug me" "what??!" she looked concerned and it made me laugh "oh no! im joking, i mean she kept telling me we're getting drunk so she's probably going to keep handing me drinks" "oh" she laughed