I felt my throat getting tight, and I snatched my hand away from his, I didn’t even know how long I’d been under his gaze, all I knew was I had to get out of here. Had he just called me beautiful?
“Matt I-I gotta go.” I said standing up, and brushing my sweaty palms on my jeans, the room was getting hotter by the second.
“Faith, wait.” He said I grabbed my coat off the stairway banister
“I’ll, I’ll see you tomorrow, in Econ, okay?” I said nodding frantically, my airway getting smaller, and smaller.
“Faith- you, don’t have to go.” He said, I swung open the front door, feeling the fresh air on my face. I couldn’t waste anytime answering him, I had to go.
When I walked inside the house I walked into the kitchen to the normalcy of a Tuesday night. My mother doing needlework in the living room, my father down in his office, and Austin at the kitchen table studying, I don’t know what I expected. I felt that I had come inside from a different universe, Matt’s words kept replaying in my head,
“If I don’t know everything about you, why don’t you teach me all there is to know about someone so beautiful?” I felt as if I was going to throw up, I held the kitchen wall to steady myself, no one around me looked up, it was if they too, expected nothing would ever change.
I regained my composure and walked upstairs to my room. A part of me was hoping there would be a message on my computer monitor, but it stayed dark and silent, and about 20 minutes after I’d left Mrs. Sullivan’s I saw the headlights of Matt’s truck soar past my window, I guess he had finished watering the plants.
I didn’t know why I had run away, and the whole rest of the night I went over the scenario, in my mind, conjuring up the different ways it could’ve turned out if I hadn’t been such a wimp. Who is scared of themselves, of their own feelings?
What frightened me most was Matt’s reputation, and knowing how far ahead of me he was in so many ways made me feel as though he couldn’t actually have real feelings for me. I felt small next to him, puny actually, he didn’t have feelings for me for that reason in itself. He was part of the “Preps”, and I was a part of “Everyone Else”.
I imagined myself telling Matt about the time I had learned to ride my bike, about what it was like to live within my mind, how I read 3 books every week no matter what. I imagined what it would be like to have him fall completely in love with me, be fascinated by me.
I washed my face as I got ready for school, and my collar bone looked different in the mirror. I pulled my long hair on either side of my face and covered my chest, I turned out the light and finished getting dressed. I walked into school, rushing to class, I was never late, today was an exception.
“Hey Faith.” Sandy said as I sat down behind her,
“Hi.” I said quietly.
“What’s wrong?” she said reading the perturbed expression on my face, my hand rose to my collarbone to cover it, I knew nothing was wrong, but it didn’t feel the same as yesterday.
“Nothing, nothing, why would something be wrong?” I laughed, and as Matt walked past me without a word to his seat, a shiver ran up my spine.
“You’re acting… odd, are you sick?”
“No, I’m fine.” I said looking at her head on, finally meeting her concerned eyes
“Whatever you say.”
When we partnered up for the project that day, Matt wouldn’t even meet my eyes, and he barely muttered two words to me.
“I finished the paper last night.” I said, and it felt hard to swallow after I had brought it up, yesterday.
“So I guess were finished together? I mean with the project?” he said, still looking down at his desk.
“Well, I guess we could do the art part… together.”
“What if I wanted to do it alone?”
“Fine, then do it alone.” I said, becoming frustrated.
“I’ll have it done by tomorrow.” The period ended and I felt helpless. I wanted him to talk to me, but I couldn’t very well say that, I just watched him walk out of Economics, I felt like my feet were cemented to the ground.
Later that night I was sitting on the edge of my bed watching television, getting ready to climb into bed. I was thankful to rest my eyes, this day felt 24 hours too long. I got up to close my curtains, when I saw it parked across the street, a red truck.
It’s headlights flickered twice, and I knew it was a signal. I knew I had to go.
YOU ARE READING
This Kiss
Teen Fiction“Okay, I could be wrong because I only saw him for a second, but I think, I think it was Matt Sullivan.” The music was loud and the floor of the club was crowded with people, at a concert that would soon become the talk of the year. Straight A stude...
