This Kiss

Chapter Seventeen

When I woke up Matt was gone, and on the bedside table there was a note. I sat up, groggily, I could feel the blood rush to my head, and was immediately plagued with an overwhelming headache. I put a hand to my head closing my eyes again but only briefly, I was more than curious as to what the note said.

Faith,

I had to get to work early, I hope you're feeling better than last night, and I hope you make it home okay.

Matt

I held the note against my chest, and laid back down on the bed. I fished around in te sheets looking for my phone, and finally found it, there wasn't one text to light up my screen, not even one from Danny.

I tucked the note into my pocket and walked out of Sophie's room and down the stairs, straight out the front door. I felt humiliated, having to have Matt save me, it seemed as though he was always saving me.

"And where have you been?" my mother said looking up from her place at the stove. My brother was sitting on the couch taking part in his usual summer ritual, still in his pajamas at nearly 1:00 in the afternoon, and the Xbox on full blast in the living room, his loud commentary only contributing a small decibel to the noise already coming from the television.

"I was at Monica's last night. She had a party, it got late, she invited me to stay, so I did."

"Seems like you're getting a little buddy-buddy with Monica." She said, not meeting my eyes,

"No, I just was having good time, and I wasn't going to turn down her invite."

"Hmm," my mother said, eyebrows raised

"What?" I said, moving to the coffee maker, her eyes followed me now, as she hesitated on her next sentence

"Danny came by this morning looking for you, I thought he went with you to Monica's last night?"

"He did, we just kind of went our separate ways." She nodded, excepting this as an answer. I poured the scalding hot coffee into the largest mug I could find, a drop of it splashing out onto my arm, scorching the skin and hair that lay there, reminding me that I could still feel.

I slept off my hangover for most of the day, and dodged calls and multiple visits from Danny. I didn't want to see him. Finally, he wore me down though, and as the night grew dark I stepped out onto my front porch to finally have this talk I was dreading.

"Why have you been avoiding me all day?"

"I haven't I've just been tired, and sleeping mostly. Not that you care, you left me alone at Monica's last night."

"Because you got sloppy drunk and I didn't feel like taking care of you like I'm your dad or something."

"Danny, you didn't even know where I was because you were off with who knows what doing God knows what, let's face it, this isn't working. We don't really like each other and –"

"Faith, I do like you..."

"Yeah sure Danny, but do you love me? I mean is there anything even here for us?" he said nothing, and sometimes in silence we find our greatest truth,

"I'm sorry this didn't work but-" I began and he put his hand up to stop me.

"Don't say sorry, I mean I should've known, you're still in love with him." He said sounding defeated

"Who?"

"You know who."

"Matt?" I started to laugh. "You think I'm still in love with Matt?"

"Faith, it's clear to everyone," he said, and I could feel the panic rising in my chest, I didn't still love him, I couldn't still love him. He put a hand on my shoulder, "Talk to him, he's miserable."

"No he's not." I said with a fake laugh, surprising myself by how much of a stone cold bitch I sounded like.

"Faith, you might not see it, but I can. Just talk to him. Try to work it out. There's no harm in just trying." I was done with this conversation. My head was spinning, and I just wanted to lie down, I didn't want to talk anymore. For once I wanted the world to be quiet, to stop whispering lies into my ear, for fate to stop pushing me where I was meant to be. I wanted the universe to be stagnant.

"Goodnight, Danny" I said, as I shut the door behind me, wishing with all my heart, that the next time I opened it, this mess will have fixed itself.