I didn't question anything as I continued to kiss him, I closed my eyes, I felt like I was throwing everything away, that I was starting a new life. I shoved my feelings for Matt onto a shelf in my closet and let them collect dust as if they were nothing more than a pair of dress shoes I had grown out of, but were just too special, or sentimental, to give to just anybody.
I didn't want to pay much attention to Danny after the prom hook up, I thought that was it, a one time thing, but it turned out he thought different, and in the remaining days of the school year he was at my locker everyday after school, driving me home, asking me out for the weekend, and the only thing that kept me tolerating this constant attention I wasn't sure I wanted exactly, was the fact that just as fast as I had taken up with Danny, Matt had been all over Courtney.
"So what do you say? My place this weekend?" I nodded as Danny draped his arm around me in his car. I looked out the window avoiding his eyes. As I looked back at him to say goodbye as his car pulled up to my house, he pulled me into a kiss, strong and lingering, this had also become our afternoon ritual.
We went from an innocent kiss on my front porch to sex in the afternoons on the way home. He was respectable to my mother whenever he came inside, he shook my father's hand, and he palled around with Austin, discussing the Yankees latest stats. I plastered a smile to my face whenever I spoke of him, whenever I was with him. But as "in love" as I thought I was with Danny, I still caught myself checking for Matt's truck in Mrs. Sullivan's driveway.
"So what are we doing tonight? Danny asked me as we lay on my basement couch. It was a cloudy day in late June, school had finally let out for good about a week ago, and as summers always played out the same in Eastport, we were already bored and ready for trouble.
"I don't know, I don't really have anything in mind." I said, distractedly as I read my magazine. Danny's phone buzzed on the counter and he was quick to grab it. We always ended up growing bored with each other. Danny was sweet and he meant well, but conversation never flowed quite right, and if we weren't fooling around, a connection between us was thin.
"Monica's having a party, do you want to go?" I hesitated. I hadn't been to Monica's in a few months now, and I knew Matt would be there, I told myself it didn't matter, that he doesn't care about me anyway, and I shouldn't care about him. I stood up from the couch and pulled Danny up with me
"Let's go."
The Sullivan's were known partiers, and if you were anybody in this town you showed up when they threw a party. As we walked through the front door, the scent of alcohol overwhelming, it seemed as if not only the entire junior class, but the whole school had shown up. I saw Matt, Courtney on his lap, I ignored them, already starting to drink, it was early, but I couldn't face the fact that they seemed to be getting along better than Matt had ever let on. Before I knew it there was a beer in my hand and I was making small talk with Gabriella and Marissa, Danny had gone off somewhere to meet his buddies, and that left me to fend for myself as far as conversation.
"So, how's Danny?"
"He's alright, he's good."
"He hasn't been around much since you guys started... well you know."
"What is that supposed to mean" Marissa and Gabriella looked at each other, then the latter spoke
"Well, it's just, Danny always does this with summer girl friend. They're hot and heavy all summer, and then all of sudden September and football come and poof! She's gone just like the sunshine." They looked at each other, laughing. I took a sip of my drink and felt the beer running sourly down my throat. I looked down and then started to walk away, towards the door, I wanted to go home, and it was a short walk, but now the ground felt like Jello, and as I walked out onto the front porch, my eyes caught the porch swing. If I just sat down for a minute and then walked home, it would be enough to clear my head. I laid down on the rough fabric, resting my head on the metal bar keeping the swing together, once again, I was leaning against something that felt so strong, but with enough pressure could be breakable.
I woke up hours later to someone shaking my shoulder, there hand was light but big, and before I even opened my eyes I recognized the touch.
"Faith? Faith, wake up. Faith, come on." I opened my eyes groaning, the morning sun stinging my eyes.
"Matt?"
"Faith, your parents are going to kill you." Before I could answer, I felt a lump in my throat, and then I was throwing up all over Matt's shoes. He took a step back, as I sat up I rubbed eyes, wishing this wasn't happening, wishing as I had so many times the past few months that I could just turn back the clock.
"Okay Faith, you obviously can't go home." He said sighing
"No, no,' I said standing up, stumbling over into his arms, so much for making it home independent.
"No Faith, you're staying here, just until you sober up."
"Why do you even care?"
"Faith, let's not do this right now."
"Why do you want to save me," I shouted, pushing him back, I fell back onto the swing, tears stinging my eyes, I felt defeated, in almost a whisper, through my tears "If you don't even love me anymore?" he scooped up my tiny body into his huge arms. I cuddled up against his body as he carried me through the house, putting y gently into Sophie's bed. I was still crying, and as he stood by the door, his hand poised on the door knob, he looked at me,
"I'm going to go now, okay? Do you need anything? Through my broken body I answered him, almost inaudibly
"Please don't go."
"You want me to stay?" he asked. I nodded weakly, and I felt his warm body next to me, his arm wrapping around me, and as I laid my head on his chest, I finally felt like I was home.
���������������
YOU ARE READING
This Kiss
Teen Fiction“Okay, I could be wrong because I only saw him for a second, but I think, I think it was Matt Sullivan.” The music was loud and the floor of the club was crowded with people, at a concert that would soon become the talk of the year. Straight A stude...
