This Kiss

Chapter Fifteen

I knew Matt had lied and I must have fallen at least somewhat on my head, because I had a splitting headache, and I could feel a pretty decent sized lump behind my right ear. I knew by the curve of the road exactly where he was taking me, even though there was no street lamp in sight. When he pulled into the wide parking lot in front of the tunnel, I knew we were at the county beach by Southport, where we used to go camping with our families when we were kids. He held my hand as we walked through the tunnel and onto the boardwalk, we were both quiet, the moon looming over us, the only light in sight. We walked over by the old campground, where the beach, no matter what point of the year was always deserted. Matt turned to me, cupping my face in his hands, and kissed me like the world was ending, his hands everywhere, and as he pulled away from me, his face still close to mine, and looked into my eyes, I knew I was gone, any apparition I could've had about this not being real was gone. Matt looked at me for the woman I was, instead of just a girl, and that night, as we made love, that's exactly how I felt.

            I laid in Matt's strong arms under the stairs of the first pier of the outer beach. It was a warm night, early May,  I looked up at the sky, the moon still hanging above us, it was the only thing constant I could depend on, its appearance every night, and disappearance every morning.           

            I crawled in the door at two AM, my mother passed out on the couch, my father tucked away in bed, and Austin, in true 12 year old style, late awake on a Friday night playing video games. I tiptoed to my bed, and as I crawled under the sheets, sand from my hair spilling onto my pillow, I saw from my window the headlights of the Ford pulling away, and I smiled to myself, unable to fathom how lucky I was that I fell in love with my best friend.

            The next few weeks were jam packed with finals, regents exams, SATs, and ACTs. My brain was fried, and June 9th, the  night of the junior prom, I was more than ready for a night out to forget the test stress, and just dance the night away.

            After that blissful night at the beach, Matt and I had returned back to our usual routine, crazy fighting, and even crazier loving. Our usual disagreement was one surrounding the prom. I wasn't allowed out to go to an after party, according to my parents Matt was to take me home right after the prom, there was no sleeping out, no drinking, nothing that could potentially get me into some sort of "trouble". Matt had been begging and pleading with me, prompting me to sneak out, which I knew wouldn't end well, and either way, I felt I had done enough for Matt in the way of getting in trouble. We were different in many ways, Matt and I, our values, our morals, there was so much he thought was okay, like sleeping at girl's houses, getting drunk every weekend, leaving school mid-day just because. We were raised in different homes, mine more structured, I was watched like a hawk, there was no room for error, for him, it was all a game. High school was a joke, even after what happened to Sophie. The Sullivan's claim to fame was that they didn't care, as long as they had fun. So finally as we posed for pictures on Matt's front lawn, the sun shining, the wind calm, barely blowing my hair, a perfect day, for a not so perfect night.

            As I pinned Matt's boutonnière to his tux, and he slipped on my corsage, we were all smiles for the camera. But I knew underneath things weren't as they seemed. I felt stiff and uncomfortable with Matt, as our fighting had progressed over the past few weeks, and I knew if we made it through this night, it would be a miracle.

            We rode in silence to the prom, and the night was a disaster, as more cameras went off in my face, I told myself as soon as the prom was over I would break up with him. I would do it first, and I should've known all along how this would never work.

            "Are you coming with me? or are you gonna go home and do a puzzle with mommy and daddy?" Matt said, taunting me as we drove home after the prom.