Seized -[Completed]

Feeling

My reflection looks...dull. Have my eyes always been this far apart? Has my nose always been this big? Has my hair always been this pale and limp? Have I ever been remotely appealing?

What a silly question, you know the answer already.

And I do, it's no. It will always be no. I trace my lips lightly, moving up my jaw and into my hair.

So dull.

I close my eyes long enough for you to enter the bathroom. Your scent envelops me before your arm slides around my waist and chin rests on the top of my head. I open my eyes meeting yours through the mirror. You smile slightly, I try to return it and fail making you deflate immediately.

"What's wrong?" You ask quietly holding my hip gently, all while being prepared to step back if I request it. I want to drop my gaze, I want to do anything to break the connection between us because I feel the truth building inside me, yearning to pour out.

I try to shove it down to giving you the answer I've always given. "It's nothing. I'm fine, really I am." I nod, making the smile that failed to appear before form now.

"You can tell me, Am. I'm here for you, it's okay." You give my hip a reassuring squeeze and the last shreds of my guard crumble.

"Everything is wrong." I whisper. "I miss my old life but I hated my old life, I miss the stupid boys I was staying with before you---and you! God, you confuse me so fucking much! I don't know what to do because I know I should fucking hate you, I shouldn't let you this close to me but I am because I'm a fucking moron. And on top of that I'm confused as to why you chose me, I'm not remotely attractive! That's what I'm worried about, that's what's going through my mind. Not that you could potentially be clinically insane but that I'm not good enough for you. How fucked up is that?!"

You inhale sharply spinning me around so quickly I have to use your shoulders to regain my balance before you gently lift me onto the sink so we're eye level. "I'm not going to hurt you." You murmur tucking my hair behind my ear and I think that's the only thing you're going to say, that you have nothing to add and we'll just leave it at that. Of course I'm wrong, your lips part then close once again to consider what needs to be said. "You're not...you're beau---" you try to force the words out, the compliments that don't make one bit of sense when I already know the truth.

"You don't have too---"

"Goddammit, yes I do because you're stunning, you're breathtaking, you're fucking earth shattering and I need you see that!" You rake one hand through your hair, leaving the other clasped loosely on the back of my neck. "I didn't choose you, Am, you don't choose who you..." You let out a slow breath not quite ready to admit it yet, but I know. I know where you're going with it, what you want to say.

Love. You don't choose who you love and god are you right.

"I, I just want you to be happy here. I don't want you to worry about shit like this. I want you to know you're safe with me and that you're beyond words attractive and, and---"

"Michael..." I whisper slowly, bringing my hands up your chest. "I won't ever believe that about myself, I'm sorry but I just can't."

"But---"

"No, no buts. I'm sorry." I sigh, scooting to the edge of the sink to lie my head on your shoulder. "I don't want to talk about this anymore."

"Am, c'mon, you've gotta talk to me or I won't know how to help."

"Please Mikey, I don't want to right now." I look at you pleadingly, sagging in relief when you nod.

••••
"I suck at this!" I laugh as you replace my fingers over the correct frets of your guitar.

"Everyone sucks at first!" You laugh along with me, craning your neck around to check my placement on the strings now. I wiggle slightly uncomfortably on your lap forcing a low groan to escape from you. Peeking over my shoulder I grumble an apology earning a grunt as an acceptance. You hand me the pick once again, placing your hand over mine to assist in strumming. "Ready?"

"Ready." I nod with a giggle. You lead, proud that I'm doing somewhat well even though you're basically doing all the work. You've been attempting to teach me to play American Idiot for nearly two hours now, since we left the bathroom after my small outburst this morning. But, I haven't broken any stings so far, which is the biggest miracle I think I've ever experienced.

"See it's not that hard." You chuckle and I bite my lip, trying to concentrate on the cords and not how normal this feels, sitting with you as you attempt to teach me guitar. Of course though, the second the thought pops into my head I miss a note and it all spirals down from there.

"I'm sure there are easier songs I could learn, this is impossible." I groan, setting the guitar down gently.

"Oh definitely, I just wanted to see you suffer through attempting that." You laugh poking my side playfully, making me squeak and jump up. "Ohhh, you're ticklish." You cock an eyebrow at me.

"No, of course not. I have no idea what you're talking about." I ramble backing away from you slowly.

"Riiight." You nod getting up from the couch, stalking me around the room.

"Don't you dare..." I warn right before you launch your attack, pretty much pouncing and assaulting me with tickles to the ribs. "Oh my god! Michael stop!" I gasp, laughing and trying to wiggle myself away from you and your menacing ways.

When I fail to get away I try retaliation, shocking you with a few pokes of my own. "Shit!" You shout, jumping up to create separation between us. "You win, you win." You laugh, reaching down to help me up.

"All my old boyfriends were so boring, we never did anything fun like that." I blurt, immediately clamping my mouth shut. You look at me and it's like you're seeing me for the first time. Vaguely I'm aware of your lips parting slightly yet all I can focus on is your emerald eyes, the way they captivate my soul making escape impossible.

You move quickly, sweeping through the room with such ease. I can't keep my eyes off of you. Your fingers dance over album after album until you believe you've found the perfect one. "Come on." You whisper holding out your hand to me.

"I don't..."

"Please." You smile shyly entwining our fingers loosely. You pull me to my feet, dragging me to the middle of the room.

"Mikey, I can't dance." I whisper trying to remove my hand from yours.

You tighten your hand on my waist and yank me back to you. "I can't either." You chuckle, I give in letting you whirl me clumsily about the open space. I've become oblivious to the music all my senses are fixated on you and how we move, regardless of how awkward it is.

I lay my head on your shoulder humming quietly, "I never took you as a romantic person."

You snort, "I have my moments princess."

I lift my head to meet your eyes, a small grin stays painted on your lips. "I like these moments." I mumble.

You dip your head just enough for our foreheads to touch huffing with a smile, "I think I do too." I shake my head giggling, curling my hands in between our chests as your hands clasp around my back. I let out a content sigh, you situate your chin on the top of my head and I can't imagine any other way I would want to spend my days.

a/n: Hi guys! This chapter took a while and I feel like it's a bit messy, sorry. Anywho, I hope you all are doing well. I was going to say something about the Calum story that I put up on here a while ago but I can't remember what it is sooo, anyway...love you guys! Thanks a fucking billion for reading, I hope you're enjoying it honestly. <3 Erm, yeahhh that's all I have to say I guess /-\ Have a good day/night/afternoon lovelies. (As always, sorry for typos ._.)