It's Nice To Have A Friend

45) After All They Have Been Through

Poppy's words had echoed through his mind. Alice couldn't be him because she was feeling guilty. You don't understand what I've done. Was she still blaming her for almost marrying Hal? And did she really believe losing their baby was her fault?

All he wanted was to talk to her, to make sure he would understand. Maybe that was the most important thing. To know what she was going through, and to for her to know that neither those things were her fault.

When he walked into her apartment, he saw that she was writing. Right know, he knew better than to ask what she was writing about, afraid she would be too scared to share.

"Al, can I talk to you? About us?" He sat down on the dinner table next to her.

"FP... I can't. You know that." She looked at him, with something twinkling in her eyes that betrayed she was terrified.

"It's just confusing to me." FP sighed a little.

"Why is it so hard for you to commit to this? Is it because of our baby? Or because of the past?" He wondered softly. Alice closed her notebook, but remained silent. She even avoided eye contact.

"Why won't you talk to me? This is killing me, Alice. What have I done?" FP finally had enough of it, and for once just wanted for her to be honest with herself.

"I am just mad, okay! I am just mad all the time! At myself, at the world, at everything!" She suddenly exclaimed emotionally, making his eyebrows knitted in confusion.

"You're mad? Why?" He asked her, calmly.

"Because I was trying to move on! How can I except what I've done? How can I do that when I know you love me back?" Alice voice cracked, finally sharing what had been haunting her mind for too long. FP's face fell.

"That is not fair, Alice. I know what I said wasn't really tactful, but you can't expect me to say nothing. Besides, you were the first one to tell me you loved me, when you knew I couldn't handle it." He tried to remain peaceful, but he could feel in every fiber of his body that he didn't deserve this, not after all they had been through.

"You were the one that didn't want me, FP. So now you think you had the right to mess with my head?" Alice got off her chair, as she tried to keep in her tears, but everything was too overwhelming.

The way he didn't say it back when she told him she loved him, getting pregnant, losing their baby, how he finally confessed he did love her... it was all too much for her head to process.

He got off his chair as well, wanting nothing more than to grab her arm and turn her around to make sure he could see in her eyes how badly she wanted this with him. But he didn't.

"No, I had the right to tell you my feelings, just like you did. And I think I did the right thing because you just told me you love me back." FP pointed out somewhat angrily, growing more frustrated with her by the second.

"I am not having this conversation with you." Alice huffed and made a quick pace to the front door.

"Sure, walk away. Very mature!" FP scolded, done playing nice.

But before Alice could reach the door knob, he realized that he had a right to be angry too, and she needed to know.

And still, he couldn't watch her leave. Not once more. They needed to talk, even if it was going to end in a fight.

"We could finally be together after ignoring how we really felt for months on end and then all you do is run again!" He finally yelled, making her stop in her tracks to slowly turn on her heel, hand still on the doorhandle.