God's Loving Embrace

Part Twenty-Nine

'What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee.'

Psalms 56:3

Charles Buckingham had not spoken to anyone. He stayed up watching the results roll in until about three, and then slept till eight, with Madeleine safe in her sleeping gown beside him, before shutting himself away in his study. He had rather a lot to think about before seeing anyone of course. Managing such a small majority in the House of Commons would be problematic, a new challenge. Illness, rebellion or unexplained absences could lose any important vote, and every by-election would risk reducing the majority still further over the length of the parliament. But it also meant that he could still just about force legislation through as long as they kept a tight ship, whatever the opposition or the press said, although as a genuine democrat it was not something he ever wanted to do. However, he did not see that he had much choice. He had lost some friends and allies in the election, and he spent several hours shuffling his cards, choosing his new Cabinet, before the car arrived to take him to the palace. King Charles had to approve his reappointment, although it was really only a formality. Not even kings could do as they pleased in a modern democracy.

Buckingham was hurt, of course. It felt like a defeat. He had been at the forefront of a revolution with the people on his side, or so he thought. He was leading them, caressing them into following along behind them and building a dynasty. He considered the possibility that he might have got carried away. His colleagues had certainly suggested that he had been just a little bit complacent, a bit gentle. His government had started like a runaway train but he had eased off in the name of taking things slowly. He did not want to force people. He just wanted to guide them, to nudge them in the right direction, until they found the right balance in God's love. He had never expected his country to resemble Michael Winstanley's paradise on Earth. Meadvale was no more re-creatable in 2025 than it had been in 2020, but he did think that they could find an acceptable secular balance.

And he had to ask himself if that was his mistake. He had been too cautious, too inclined to let the people find their own place rather than impose his beliefs on them. Kieran Radcliffe was suggesting a strategy to seize back the initiative. He had none of Buckingham's qualms it seemed, none of his doubts. Pouring himself a coffee, he asked himself the big questions again. Did he still believe in the greater good? Had he done the right things? Had he put his career, his ambitions, before everything and everyone, including his daughter? There were no answers. No new epiphany. Just regrets and doubts, the pain of defeat. He did not feel victorious but he had five more years. Another chance to do the right thing?

But he also knew that it was the beginning of his own demise. He did not really consider resigning the leadership but it occurred to him as a possibility. For six years everything he had touched had turned to gold but he had just presided over a victory which was so narrow it was more or less a defeat. He would go on, but not with the same authority. He would have to let others shape the future, initially under his guidance but not forever. Charles had the feeling that he had passed the peak of his success. He personally was on the downward slope and his job from that moment was to keep the ship running with the wind and find the right man to take her on into the future.

In the cold light of dawn, he had a laugh at himself. He felt young enough to do a lot more than guide the ship. He still had ideas. He still had plans and dreams. It was just the shadow of defeat that had darkened his mood the night before. But he had lost some of his confidence and some of his swagger. The narrow margin of victory had popped a lot of balloons and they had to shake off any hint of complacency. As Michael had said, they were not working for their own pleasure or gain; they were working in God's love. His career was unimportant and his dark brooding during the night was a selfish irrelevance. He stood in the shower and washed away the fear of defeat. They had still won, however narrowly. They lived to fight another day.