Daytona Baby [N.H]

33

Niall Horan

Last night was the first time I've ever not made a girl come.

Not that I couldn't, because I damn well fucking could've. I take pride in my skills. I just didn't feel like showing them off.

I know it was a dick move. But I did what I did and I don't regret it. I might've been a bit harsh with Liv, but it's necessary. She got too close—too close to getting herself sucked into a world where she doesn't belong. Or killed, even. And her blood would be on my hands. I don't need that added stress right now.

She doesn't understand the reality she's put herself in. And she doesn't know the people she's surrounding herself with. She doesn't need to. But if she wants to dig around and poke her nose where it shouldn't, then she can be my guest. But the blame isn't gonna fall on me.

Harry fucked up big time getting involved with Aven knowing full well what that would mean for both of them in the end. He's still stupid enough to think he can fix it, and Aven doesn't realize how deep she is into all this. I'm not about to turn around and make the same fate for Liv when I don't have to. Just because I'm not concerned about what she chooses to do, doesn't mean I have to purposely ruin the rest of her fucking life. I'm not that cruel.

She needs to be kept at a distance. From me, from this lifestyle, from the truth of it all. If that means I have to deal with getting the cold shoulder for a day every time I piss her off, so be it. I'd rather her be confused and angry than fucking dead because of me.

This morning, getting onto the bus, I figured I could ease the tension by letting her know she's welcome to walk in on me in the shower again because there's enough room for both of us, but fuck, I was so wrong. I was met with an emotionless stare and silence. Bone chilling silence the entire drive to Denver.

I slept for the first few hours, considering that we left at fucking four in the morning to get a head start on the thirteen hour drive. I'm assuming everyone else did, too, and when I finally came out to the lounge, Liv remained in her bunk for a couple hours after that, even. But she eventually got up and joined Liam on the couch, proceeding to once again ignore everything I said and stare out the window until we arrived.

Doesn't bother me, she can play this game for as long as she wants. If she knew the whole truth, I wouldn't look like such a bad guy for keeping her away from it. But I don't mind sacrificing her image of me to avoid explaining everything. That would only make things messier than they already are.

Liam, Louis and I were all backstage, waiting to go out in a few minutes. Can't be long now, and I'm sure Sal will tell us exactly how many seconds Harry has to get his ass back here. Late again, what a fucking surprise.

Crew members were rushing all around us in the middle of last minute preparations, and as Nova went by in a hurry, Liam called her back.

"Nova!" She turned when she heard her name, looking around until she saw Liam waving her over. "You seen Liv yet?" He asked when she got within earshot.

She shook her head. "Oh, no, not yet."

"Alright, thanks." Liam said, letting her get back to what she was doing.

"Maybe she's sick of hearing the same fucking songs all the time," I commented in regards to Liv's absence. Liam remained leaning against the wall, looking down at his phone. "C'mon, you know I'm right. We're all a little sick of them now," I continued, hoping for some sort of response.

Liam muttered under his breath, "Sick of you." Not exactly the response I was hoping for.

"The fuck are you mumbling about?" I called him out, not liking this passive-aggressive attitude right now.