Daytona Baby [N.H]

46

Olivia Campbell

"God, I'm so in love with you."

The words were falling from my lips before I could think better of it.

Niall seemed to tense up a bit, as my admission hung in the air. Immediately, I felt the weight of all the things he's said in the past couple of weeks:

"It's just fucking, nothing else."

"What else am I supposed to care about?"

"She's just a good fuck."

The panties on the couch, the night he blew me off.

The night he used me for sex and didn't give my feelings a second thought.

I'm the biggest idiot in the world.

How could I be foolish enough to believe he would love me back? It always goes like this for me; the one I love doesn't love me back. I've been naive to think Niall would be looking at me as someone he would want to be with and commit to. Niall doesn't do commitment. I didn't either, before him, though I guess that just proves my feelings are genuine. How embarrassing.

I wanted to jump off the ledge right then and there. I wanted to stutter out some nonsense about how I didn't mean it; how I've just been a little all over the place today. I wanted to shut my eyes and wake up in our room, kissing and laughing and doing anything but looking intensely into each other's eyes, like we are now. I can't do it. Normally I wouldn't be able to tear my gaze away from Niall's, though right now I couldn't fake any confidence or gain the courage to look at him any longer.

Letting out a defeated sigh, I wave my hand dismissively, about to cut the tension I've created. However, Niall beat me to it.

"Say it again."

My head snaps up to meet his eyes, cautiously. He seems nervous and a little awkward. Probably uncomfortable. "What?" My head cocks back out of confusion.

Leaning over me, Niall relaxes as his hand finds its way to my cheek. His thumb caresses the top of my cheek bone as he runs his tongue across his lips before taking a deep breath. "Please." His lips brush against mine before pulling back slightly. "Liv, please."

The thought crossed my mind to sputter out a lie, say something completely different and change the subject. Though, the intensity of Niall's stare that I've grown so drawn to, had me at his complete mercy. Here goes nothing.

"I love you."

All the little arguments, comments, lies, and secrets from the past are shoved under the rug as I think back to when he was in the hospital, or his face was black and blue from God knows what. I think about the sunshine pendant he got me for my birthday and how we ran down the streets of Miami in the pouring rain. I think about the early mornings waking up with his arms around me and the gentle kisses across my collarbone and up my neck. The nights we went out and partied like we were the only two people in the world, or when we would stay in, drunk off our asses, tossing grapes into each other's mouths as we lay on the floor. Smoking weed off the balcony of a hotel, watching the sunrise in nothing but Niall's oversized t-shirt. How there's an undeniable attraction between us. How we can never keep our hands off each other.

I'm so in love with this boy.

Niall doesn't tense this time; he doesn't pull away from me, his face doesn't contort in disgust. A smile grows on his lips, one of the biggest I've ever seen. My heart skips a beat as I anticipate his response. I almost begin to laugh when he swallows harshly, choking on saliva as he opens his mouth to speak.