T R A I T O R

Chapter 1

Feeling used but I'm still missing you

Why am I hurting so much? The man that I have always cared for, cherished, and in love with was now gone. I can't believe my Lando Norris decided to get too carried away with his career and treat me like I was never even here.

I should have been able to predict what was going to happen between us because of the number of times Lando has gone off to parties and constantly posted his location onto his socials but I never thought in a million years someone like Lando Norris would hurt me. 

Why did I let one man ruin me? As he left my apartment, slamming the door directly in front of me I noticed how he was biting his lip, which is what he usually did when he gets agitated or distressed. Right after our fight and listening to his Mclaren speed off into the dark and gloomy night. After all these years I've always cared for him. From childhood friends to karting partners, to an affair, and now nothing.

I remember when Lando told me that he wanted to spend his life with me and, we eventually started talking and planning our life together. We set out life goals that we stuck to for years, even our friends and parents used to tease us about how perfect we would be together. But I didn't realize that this was not reality.

as much as I would love to be in hatred with this man I can't seem to let go of the memories we had together. The times he would hold me against his chest and tell me sweet nothings that were always on the back of my mind when I felt alone, especially on the days when Lando was on the other side of the continent racing to the best of his ability. I remember when it was my birthday he took me out to our childhood favorite ice-cream place in the corner from the library on Olive street it was those little times that meant the world to me even if our situation was difficult. 

Spending time alone was too difficult for me to handle since my family and I were never that close there was no point in visiting them, but I have never needed someone as much as I needed Lando in my life. And once I was with him, due to his significantly demanding career. I guess you could say that I was falling apart. The majority of the time when Lando was gone I couldn't help but miss his touch, his smile well mainly his presence, I wouldn't let him know but I spent those nights high and drank as much alcohol until I was numb.

I don't want him in my life, I need him.