T R A I T O R

Chapter 7

It hurts me every time I see you

As I quickly grabbed my keys from my marble bench in the kitchen, I raced out towards my car and got to Kiara's doorstep as quickly as possible. I knocked on her door and she knew it was me. As she got up, I heard her slowly walking towards the door. She finally opened it up and I saw a mascara-stained face and the pain I caused her was unreal.

"Lando, what are you doing here?" she quietly said as her voice was breaking.

"I needed to see you, I need you more than anything. Please stay with me, I know the way I treated you was horrible. Leaving you all alone without anyone whilst I was gone, thinking you were okay when you were alone and isolated through times including the world pandemic, this broke you, and this whole time you were suffering, was because of me, I am truly so sorry."

As Kiara started to fidget with the hems of her shirt she started to shake, and she often did this when she was on the edge of falling apart.

"I didn't like seeing you leave, I know I told you to go away and leave me alone, but you knew deep down that you should've stayed, back with me, as you slammed the door and sped off. You hurt me and I know you understand that, but I shouldn't have said those things that night because I was being selfish and I always sound like I am trying to put myself before you but you are all I have, and as desperate as I may seem. I need you, still to this day and I know I hurt you as well and the guilt, oh the guilt that I am feeling does not go away because I missed you. so, very much. Just promise me that you will stay with me, you can't leave me all alone, please."

I took her in for a hug and I was surprised she didn't pull away from me, and to feel her warm, soft skin finally against these long two weeks meant everything. As I was taking in every inch of her body I finally felt calm and whispered to her:

"God, you were never selfish Kiara, and never say that about yourself ever again, I am truly sorry and I can't say any more than this because you know how bad I am with words, from now on I promise that you will be by my side each time when I race, I will book extra tickets just for you so you will not be afraid and isolated anymore." 

I slowly couldn't feel the warm embrace of Kiara, and as I looked down she was gone. 

All of a sudden my alarm went off.