T R A I T O R

Chapter 14

You want her, you need her

Just returned from Monza and I canceled my extra few nights at the hotel, although I have to say that the race was quite brilliant for the team the frontline finish of P1 and P2 well can the points get any better than this? Even though Kiara wasn't there to congratulate me I was obviously hoping for a message to come through from her. But as I checked my phone after seeing a notification show up on messages it was from her, of all the people

KIARA: You, did an amazing job today Lando, you should be very proud of yourself. Congratulations.

LANDO: I did all of this just for you. Thank you,

I'm over the moon. I know it's just a message but this has given me so much hope, more hope than I have ever had this whole time. Maybe she hasn't moved on as I started to think, just maybe. But she was supporting me back in Woking, and even if she has already moved on with another boyfriend she still wanted to support me and that makes me feel good. For the first time in quite a while. It's hard to believe that it took so long to finally contact each other, I ended up having a good night's sleep last night for the first time in months, I feel ecstatic.

I can slowly feel myself getting back to me, well how I used to be. Being in contact with Kiara has made me realize how much I loved her and missed her plus how much I still need her, I simply can not believe that I didn't love her properly. That's what upset me.

I remember on the night I left her as we were fighting, the tone in her voice was so cold as I slammed the door right behind me because I simply just couldn't deal with going back and forth in our argument but I didn't leave at that moment, I stayed right there wondering whether or not I should knock on that door once again and tell her that we can work things out, I should have done so. As I stood there hopelessly, she didn't know that I stayed close. I could hear her screaming and yell at the top of her voice, I could hear her punching the door and I couldn't believe what I heard and what pain I had caused her and the pain that consumed my girl.

Sochi, Russia: As my manager was forcing me to pay attention and attend all the media and press, including interviews for Sky Sports F1 it was all overwhelming. I have never been a fan of the media, even though I've been putting up with it for so long, socializing has never been my thing. I was trying to be as attentive and look as interested as possible but I couldn't get my thoughts away from Kiara, what is she up to? I ended up calling her asking if she would like to get away with me for the weekend and attend the race but she had work commitments and promised me she will be watching and cheering me on from home, which was fine with me. Obviously, I was unable to grab my phone from my pocket to see if there were any notifications from her.

What an absolute shit show

It was lap 51, things did not look good. The heavier band of rain had well and truly hit turn 5, and even turn 3 was getting wet, at less than half-throttle as I tip-toed through the corner. But the worst was yet to come. As I exited turn 4, I was met by a wall of spray and a fully wet track. My car then slithered wide on the entry to turn 5, spun through 180 degrees, and came to a halt in the run-off. I kept the engine going and just as I got going again, Hamilton swooped past and took the lead. The track was so fucking wet, I should have listened to the team, but I could have sworn I had the car under control, or so I thought. It was just lap 51 at least 4 laps ago I could almost taste the Champagne in my mouth but my victory was now gone I am devastated, I was so close to the finish line yet so far.