T R A I T O R

Chapter 11

Don't want to but I can't put Nobody else above you

This one and a half days went passed faster than I imagined. Race day is tomorrow, and right now I am just back at the hotel lying in my bed and staring at the ceiling since at the moment it was 9:48 pm. I think I am starting to be able to control myself again, and shutting out unnecessary thoughts are easier to handle, thanks to my tight schedule. There is just so much going on the stress is just unreal, my life was never like this before. I am so tired and dreading for the race tomorrow afternoon, but there is no choice but to put my other game face on and only hope for the best. 

Until it hit me, I was a horrible boyfriend. 

My brain is going into overdrive: Lando Norris, you are irresponsible. You care about yourself too much when it comes to those stupid cars not a single thought about Kiara popped into your head when you are out on the race weekends, whenever I promised Kiara that I would call her, message her or contact her in somewhat way. I never did because to be brutally honest sometimes I couldn't care less, she should have prepared herself for what type of industry formula one was like and that she simply needed to toughen up, God how horrible and narrow-minded was this Lando Norris? you are always in your own little world. Poor Kiara curled up into a little ball in her tiny apartment on her bed thinking and asking herself where she went wrong and why you must have hated her guts or even worse moved on. She thinks you're cheating on her with some other woman that works for Mclaren, someone who is far more attractive has a better job, payment, or maybe even a top model. But you could never because you can't lay your eyes on anyone else besides Kiara since you love her too much. Maybe that's the reason why you are so lonely right now, other idiotic men would have taken themselves to the nearest pub and get drunk to hook up with many, but you are too much of a gentleman. But remember she always blamed herself even if she wasn't in the wrong. 

I let out a cry and scream "come back, please just come back to me Kiara and I will make everything up to you!" 

Lando, don't you understand? What type of person would want to come back to you, try and make things work out when you treated her with so much disrespect, and always put yourself on top first? You took such tiny interest in her feelings or perhaps even none. Were you too precious to deal with her emotions? Too much of a baby to put a woman out in first? Did Kiara steal you away from your pride plus your fame? Your fame meant more than a childhood friend, sweetheart to a lover? Fame is absolutely irrelevant, only little teenagers want fame. Very funny Lando Norris because didn't you tell her that she was your everything? What was your definition of everything?  How much of a screw-up are you? Wait a second shouldn't she be with you right by your side because clearly, she meant that much to you. You know she adored you and still does to this day, she wants you back more than anything, she is hurting even more because of you, or does she actually? Hold on this sounds more like you speaking Lando. not Kiara. Where the fuck is she now?