Of Kings and Aces

25| Judas's Kiss

His lips were soft and wet, and while the alarm bells were ringing loudly in my head, it took me more than a second to shove him off.

"Holy fuck, Brigs! What the hell are you doing?" I yelled as I stumbled away from him, eyes wide and legs weak. "Don't come near me!"

"Ace," he shook his head slightly, wearing a remorseful face. "I'm... I couldn't resist it anymore."

"W-what do you mean? What the hell is going on? Do you even know what you just did?"

"Oh, come on, man. You know I've wanted you since college, since that stupid dare where you kissed me," he said, laughing dryly. "And I didn't miss the way you looked at me then, Ace. Something was going on, but you didn't acknowledge it."

"Nothing was going on, Brigs. It was barely a peck on the lips. I doubt you could even consider that a kiss! It was a fucking stupid dare. That's why you hated me so much because I was dumb enough to do it so that I could win the ten grand!" I held on to the closest chair. My heart was running so fast it was difficult to breathe.

"I did hate you, and I hated myself. That kiss was the final nail on the coffin. It was the last thing that cemented the fact that I was gay because I liked it. I thought I only admired you the way a guy would think that some other dude looked cool. But it wasn't that like that. When you kissed me, I felt warm and weak all over, and I resented you because it was all a game to you," he confessed.

"You did not know how much I hurt and suffered because of that reckless act that you did. I did not want to be gay, Ace, but I somehow knew I was since junior high. If I didn't act on it, I thought it would not be a problem. It was all going well until that night."

"Now, I would not be taking this chance if I knew you didn't feel the same way for me. Maybe you're still in denial. But, Ace, ten years is a long time. Be true to yourself."

"Sorry to disappoint you, but I'm not gay, Brigs, and I certainly don't feel the same way for you right now!" I angrily spat.

"You have this preconceived notion that just because you slept around with women, you're a hundred percent straight. But you felt something for me before, didn't you? It was all in your eyes and your actions, Ace. You could not commit to a girl, but you always committed to me. Always," he explained.

"Shut up and get the hell out, Brigs. Stop psychoanalyzing me," I clenched my jaw, and my knuckles on the back of the chair were turning white as I tightened my grip.

"Tell me you didn't feel anything for me then, Ace. Look me in the eyes, and tell me. Then I'll stop this insanity and move on," he said brazenly.

"I-I didn't feel anything for you. Get over it," I stammered slightly, breathing through gritted teeth. We stared at each other angrily until he chuckled and rubbed his jaw, then his lips, taunting me. But his gaze softened.

"You were never good at lying. You're so genuine that your thoughts and emotions surface no matter how hard to try to cover it up with words."

"Leave."

"Goodnight, Ace," he said before closing the door behind him.

The moment the lock clicked, I ran to the door and engaged the second lock. After which, I ran to the bathroom and brushed my teeth and lips immediately, scrubbing so hard I cut my lower lip. Then, I took a shower and scrubbed my face and neck, and entire body. I went on a cleaning frenzy. I dumped the throw blanket in the laundry. And even though I had just changed my sheets and Brigs did not enter my room, I stripped my bed and pillows and threw everything in the laundry bin as well. I had half a mind to consider throwing the dishes out, but then common sense caught up and told me I was going overboard.