ONE THOUSAND PAPER CRANES

CHAPTER 8

He became busy the following weeks. There are also some days that he's not showing up. But I remenber that he has his own privacy after all. He has a job to attend, a family to support and his own stomach to feed. Wala lang. Masyado lang yata siyang busy to drop by. Well, I understand that and that is what he is supposed to be rather than wasting his precious time to me.  I am not his cargo anyway. I will just wait for him to show up. Maybe I'm already used to his presence. But why does he not tell me antyhing?

I focused on myself  during that time. I did my best to reorganize my room which I hope I really did. I bought some time for my plants and all the works I can do around my house. Using my tactile sense, I put everything back to its own place. I also had conversations with ate and asked any update from her and a little chika pa more.

The boredom of the following days struck me again. It drowned me. I sat weakly on the floor at the side of my bed. Things flashed in my head in a single blink of an eye. I tilted my head facing the ceiling and rested it. I'm feeling tired. Tired of everything. Days and nights are just passing to my unproductive life. I emphatically rubbed my face by hand and so my head. My emotions started to fill me up. My nose became sniffy and red. I also felt a warm fluid welling my eyes. The emotions become stronger, making me weaker. I let go of the mop I was holding and bent myself. I hugged myself as I leaned my chin on my knees. Resentments and melancholy is overwhelming me. My chest burst out. Heavy subs are immensely going out my chest making me feel empty as they go. I'm waking up unsure if the sun has already risen up or is it still dark. Darkness is all I see though. Darkness is where I live. But the silence is also deafening me. Good thing I am still able to talk, if not then I will believe that I am impotent and idiot. If it wasn't for my speaking clock, I wouldn't know the time. I want to shout! I want to cry! I want to disappear! When will this darkness leave me? When will this silence unbend me? When will the light find me? When will the light of hope see me?

Then I remember him. When will he be home? When will he visit me? He's not like this before. Not a single day would pass without him annoying me. Is something happened? Then why he didn't tell me? I haven't felt his presence for quite some time. I miss his energy. His joyfulness. His presence. And his jokes. I miss him.

Where are you Berto?

I woke up the following day with my usual body clock. I got up lazily and went to the bathroom and so on to my rituals. My hair is frizzy as I do a zombie-like walk towards my sink. My white shirt is loose and so does my red pajama. I don't care how I look. I'm alone anyway.

I just finished my coffe when I was busied myself by watering my plants when I heard a phone call from inside the house. I slowly walked with my cane and attended the phone. My energy has lifted and an upward curve line immediately plastered in my face when I recognized the voice.

"Hello, good morning." a deep and cold baritone voiced drummed my ear.

"Berto...." I uttered with a little desolation.

"Yup, ako nga hehe."  I wasn't able to answer right away.

I missed that expression of him.

"Woi, anong problema? Bakit parang malungkot ka." he continued.

"Tangina mo!" it come out of nowhrer.

"Luh siya....bakit?" he asked with confusion while I cupped my mouth upon realizing what I just said.

"Where have you been?!" I demanded an answer.

"Hey, wait. Wag ka munang magalit. Para kang si Nanay ko. I will explain, okay." then he laughed teasingly.

Bakit nga ba? Am I mad?