ONE THOUSAND PAPER CRANES

CHAPTER 13

The Letter's Content.

BERTO's POV

When I look at you nestled in my arms, my heart just sighs with contenment and the peace that only you can give my soul as I love you in a way that transcends words. I just try everyday in every way to show you just how very loved you are. How very special you are to me and to the world.
But there is just not enough time to love you in all the ways you truly deserve.

The way you engage my mind and make me laugh. The way you hold me close and never let me go. The way you love me totally and completely. Just when I think I can't love you anymore, tomorrow comes and somehow I do. From your geeful spirit to your loving heart. I'm amazed by you every single day.

So I'll just spend the rest of our lives loving you in every way I can. Protecting your heart and caring for you deeply because there's just not enough time to love you in all the ways I want to.

I thought everything would be so perfect and it falls in its perfect places but I was shocked and torn apart the day you broke up with me. I did everything I can to fix us but I guess I'm the only one working out. I wanted to light you more hope and shower you with it's brightness but you turned your back to me. I know you might think that I just gave up on us, but that's for far from the truth. I didn't quit trying to love you because I will always love you, but sometimes love isn't enough, it takes efforts too. I quit trying to make it work with you because you were not willing to do what it took for us to be both happy. I tried to compromise, meet you halfway and do my part....but it takes two people to try, to put in the work for a relationship to be successful. And you were not willing to do what it takes. I'm done believing the empty words. I've cried so many tears amd endured so many sleepless nights wanting you to just do something..anything.

I just wanted you to try.

I'm done chasing you, begging you to communicate and hope that you'll show me that I'm worth the effort.

Unfortunately, you've shown me how much I don't really mean to you, because if I did, you would do whatever it takes to help us make it through this. But you are not, and I don't think you ever will. Maybe someone else would be okay with being an afterthought but I am not that person. I deserve the best and I am willing to work for it.

Someday, maybe, you'll find someone that you are willing to sacrifice for. But I doubt it. That it takes too much work.

So, before you spew angry words at me and blame me for quitting, take a good look in the mirror. I'll always love you and wish you all the best but I'm done fighting for someone  who won't willing to fight for us.

Maybe you would realize what we had once I'm gone but  that's not my concern anymore.

I'm finally done. I'm all out of tears.

I know they've always been telling you that that real strength is holding on, and in some cases, that's true. But what if I told you that most of the time letting go is the true strength? That pain that you've been carrying with you all this time..it's not making you stronger to hold on to it. A pain from a break up, childhood hurt, the way some people treated you, when someone made you feel not good enough..that's been tearing you apart for far too long. You've been carrying that your entire life and it's done nothing but bring you down and caused you more anguish.

Yes, I'm talking to you.

You are right that no one will ever know those roads you once traveled and the pain you had to endure. But it's time to stop carrying those angry feelings and guilt with you wherever you go. True, you may never understand why someone mistreated you or hurt you but you can't worry about that anymore.  Every minute you spend dwelling on things you can't control is time you are not healing.

Yes, I know it's hard to let go of memories, the pain and the feeling of selflessness. And you should never forget where you've been, but you deserve better than to let them continue to destroy you. You're more than enough--and once you start opening your eyes to the beauty of life all around you, you'll start to see more wonderful things happen to you. I know it's still going to hurt you and you're still going to have sleepless nights but you'll find that the more you begin to let go, the lighter your burden will feel.
Truth is, you'll never really understand whythey hurt you and  you have to be okay with that. All that negative energy and that ugly feeling of resentments, guilt and shame are slowly eating away at your happiness. Take back your power and wrest control of your life and your joy from those things that live in your past. I'm not saying you have to forget them because the scars they left created the beautifully unique soul that is you. Never regret the roads you traveled or the people you've loved. Everyone of them  taught you something before they left. It's up to you to learn from their lesson and  let go of their pain.
Honestly, I don't k ow what tomorrow holds and somtimes I don't even know how we'll get there....but we will. Throw off the shackles of the painful past that have been weighing you down and you'll discover the wings that have been there all along, just waiting for you to fly.
Yes, it's going to hurt and your going to cry but not for the same reasons you once did. Take back you power and find your strength. Rise from those ashes that you've been carrying with you for far too long.
Turn the page.

Begin a new chapter.

Write a new story.

Maybe your tale once a montage of pain, sadness and guilt but not anymore. This chapter, this new beginning is a story  of rising from the fire, letting go of the pain and starting to finally live again.

You've been down for too long. It's time to start climbing and learning to fly. It's not enough to simply find your wings. You must find the courage to fly.

But then, I had to realize that letting you go was more important to your happiness than  fighting for something that wasn't meant to be. Sometimes, letting go of someone you love is the hardest thing you'll ever have to do. To face the reality that I will never again be part of your life and choosing to close your chapter will be one of my life's hardest challenges. Not because I don't care about you, not because I don't love you. But because I want you to be happy. That's the most unselfish and hardest thing that maybe I ever had to do.

Some people are meant to he in your heart but not in your life.

It doesn't mean I wanted things to happen this way, but that I know it's for the best. Knowing this truth doesn't make the choice any easier nor the decision to let you go less painful but it does begin the healing process. The first step in moving on is understanding that your happiness is more important that what feels good right now..or what my heart thinks I want.

While I can't imagine anyone but you in my life and don't know how I'll go on without you, understand this: if it's meant to be, love will always find a way. It it doesn't knock on my door once more, then I'll look back on this chapter as a lesson. It won't be easy, it won't be fast but it will be for the best--both of us.

I will always fondly look back and remember this time. The love we once shared are beautiful and I will never forget the memories we made . There's something really beautiful behinds those doors that have yet to open that we will both never find if we're waiting for the closed door to reopen.

Face forward.

Live.

Become better everday.

Don't forget me and the love we once shared, the nights we wanted to last forever and the fire that once burned so brightly.

I won't.

When I finally do find my love story, I'll make the most of it.

Until then, I wish you the best.... I wish you love for the rest of your days.

May yur smile never dim and your star always shine brightly.

It's how I'll think of you and why I'll always  smile. It's how I'll get through letting you go for you deserve to be truly happy. Perhaps, we will meet again in another life. If that's what is writtens in the stars.

Until then, stay strong....stay happy...stay free.

Itutuloy......

Credits :
The Ravenwolf