Boku No Hero Academia One Shots [Book 2]

Tomura Shigaraki

Serenity, like candlelight, flickered, waxed and waned. Serenity was a dream, so cruelly untrue. It danced between lovers, yet touched them only briefly. And with its freedom, with its conscience, it evaded you. There was little recourse for such an insult. Nothing could breathe life into that which was bereft.

"You just seem so distant. Don't you love me anymore?"

The distance was imperceptible, imagined. Or perhaps it wasn't - not entirely, and insecurity had released it upon this union. After all, the trust which, in the beginning, had come so easily, was now enduring tests so cyclical, that there seemed to be a greater purpose. There had to be. These tests must have been born by intent. But after months of romance, of bliss...why would he do this? Why would he be so forthright, to argue as you spilled your heart...as your tears lay the foundations for a flood? Why would he betray you? Perhaps he was the one who bathed in disenchantment. Maybe he finally saw you for your flaws, that rosy tint his eyes once held now turning a vicious black. Maybe love was a novelty, and it had just worn off.

Or maybe this was your fault, as the accused in the tale that Tomura chose to spin.

"Of course I love you! What are you talking about?" This style of conversation, by now, was far too familiar.

If its progression knew no governance, then the haemorrhage of your heart would be fatal.

"You're not acting like you used to." He started, fingers gripping the flesh of his neck. "You're not the person I fell for. You're so different now. You treat me like a...like a friend, not a partner."

You looked inwards, in a desperate recon. "I'm not treating you any differently than usual, Tomura! This is just who I am! Why can't you accept that?!"

"Because this isn't you! This wasn't how you were when we met!" These words he spoke, with needless supposition, nurtured confusion and doubt within you.

You didn't understand this situation - neither its origin, nor its crescendo. Surely it wasn't something for which, in good conscience, you could be blamed. But Tomura's conscience had been moulded. It hadn't been his own, for a fair few years. If he was the truest impression of himself, then surely the seeds of toxicity would never have taken root. Or that was what you chose to believe.

"Of course I was different then!" You growled, horrified at the implication (and somewhat realisation), that he had expected you to remain a trembling amalgamation of anxiety and awe. "I wasn't as comfortable with you then as I am now! Now I've actually had a chance to be myself, to let you see me without all the masks I have to wear! Do you know how hard it is to be afraid of going outside?? To be afraid of people, because you've been tormented to the point where you lose all your confidence and you're terrified that you're so repulsive, no-one can stand to be near you?! If I seem distant, then it's because I'm used to being on my own. I'm used to being shouted at, and whenever you raise your voice, it scares me. That's what pushes me away."

A partial truth, a partial lie.

Tomura scowled. "Well that's just who I am. I'm not gonna change."

"Then why do you expect me to?" Your broken tone begged for an answer - one that was satisfactory, not just convenient.

But he said nothing.

"I can't do this anymore, Tomura. I love you, but I feel like I'm dancing on coals around you. I can't live like that. It isn't healthy!" Tears marred your cheeks, as they dripped in slow succession.

Tomura conveyed no understanding, nor compassion, but his response was sickeningly pre-emptive of your next move.

"You can't leave."

The midwinter ice descended upon your core, freezing it over like the planes of Hel. "I can. And I have to. I'm sorry, Tomura."

And with unflinching abandon, he made to grab you. "I won't let you."

"I don't need your permission. I've made up my mind."

That made him stop, made him process...made him think. "What do you mean?"

"Tomura, loving you shouldn't feel like a chore." You sighed. "This should be easy. It shouldn't torture me. I shouldn't feel like I have to give up everything that brings me joy, just to be with you! You do nothing for this relationship unless it's convenient for you. You barely even listen to me. I can't be with someone who takes, and never gives. I have needs too, Tomura. I need to feel loved. I need you to tell me that you care. I need to not feel so side-lined all the time."

This plea was made impossible purely by puerility. "If I didn't care, I would've killed you by now."

"Then feel free to do that now. Otherwise, I'm leaving. And once I'm gone, I won't come back. Not ever again." It wasn't a simple choice, but it was his to make.

"If you really love me, you'll let me go."

[Word Count: 857]