Boku No Hero Academia One Shots [Book 2]

Nemuri Kayama ღ Midnight

Requested by: Kibyeh

Trigger Warnings: Anxiety/Depression, Self-Harm, Suicidal Tendencies.

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You had radiated an almost overwhelming amount of youth and vitality during the beginning of your younger years, and being in the same class as your long-time crush certainly aided that. Nemuri Kayama was just...perfect, in every way imaginable! Butterflies exploded in your stomach, at even a single, accidental glance. You understood that she was adored throughout the entirety of UA, but you definitely loved her the most - a hundred thousand times more than anyone else! But...she never appeared interested in women, and there was also the issue of her boyfriend...

Well, you assumed at this ridiculous, little crush would soon fade. If it hadn't been reciprocated by now, then surely it wasn't written in the stars. It was insignificant, and it would disappear...eventually.

Hopefully soon, because maintaining such a cheery façade, when inside, your heart was shattering, exhausted you, and it began gradually extinguishing the fire within your once-burning orbs. Nemuri was generally far too preoccupied with her boy-toy, and therefore hadn't yet noticed your extensive mental anguish. Well...perhaps that was for the best? You really, really didn't wish to interfere with Nemuri's relationship, especially since she seemed genuinely in love with this one. It broke you, it tore down the defences which had been so expertly constructed.

Class grew far more torturous, your concentration was failing. Squashed emotions were resurfacing, wearing anger and malice like a robe and crown. They stepped over the remnants of your defences, teeth bared and grinning unnaturally. You knew what followed...what always followed. Self-disgust coiled around your neck, choking the life out of you. When you glanced towards your hands, you spied the snapped rope, which hadn't been able to sustain your weight.

This devastated you.

Even inanimate objects could comprehend how utterly worthless and disgusting you were. Even they desired to prolong your suffering, your misery. They loathed you, just like everyone else. And - where was Nemuri in all of this? She was prancing around happily with that boy, completely ignorant to your plights. 

Sometimes...sometimes you just couldn't animate your body; it refused to leave the confides of your bed, where it could drown in relative comfort, instead of anxiety and depression. It was just...just Hell, all of it! Nothing cradled you in a warm embrace, and you had nobody. You were positive that Nemuri didn't care. Was she laughing at your pain, behind your back? But...she held such compassion! Was that simply a mask, created to lower your guard? You didn't want to believe this, but watching her smile widen, watching her laugh and dance, without you...

Your cheeks played host to a barrage of tears. She never actually needed your friendship, your affections, did she?...What if no-one did? Maybe the sun would shine a little brighter, without you in its trajectory?

In reality, Nemuri had acknowledged your changes - barely managing to pass exams (when you were previously considered the most intelligent in class), the forlorn demeanour which enveloped you (somewhat suddenly), how you stopped welcoming her company, and the excuses...Ah, there was only really so much one woman could take! What she couldn't understand, however, was why, if you had always possessed these underlying inklings of depression, of self-contempt, why you hadn't ever reached out to her - to anyone! Initially, it just appeared that you needed a bit of space. That space only increased and increased, until she could no longer bear it.

With the flick of her finger, she dismissed her boyfriend. Finding you, before anything more bone-chilling could be attempted, was her top priority. Yes, this was a school environment, but she truly felt like nothing was out of realm of possibility. After all, the nervous manner in which you tugged at your sleeves, constantly, and how you had started adorning darker tights, didn't fly over her head.

She hadn't wanted to disturb you, to scare you off with her knowledge. You were obviously trying to hide it, and the paranoid flickering of your eyes, whenever someone stepped too close...

Honestly, Nemuri supposed herself a failure of a hero-in-training, if she couldn't even confront - and help - you, her apparent best friend. She knew that the path to recovery was rocky at best, and relapse was a horrifying yet real phenomenon, but if you never took that first step, the weight of your afflictions would most certainly smother you. Nemuri's heartstrings might have hummed a tune which differed to yours, but she still adored you, with her whole essence! If anything happened, if you actually went through with your most pressing desires, then how would she function? She still required your usual joviality, even just a false one. At this point, she would be content with anything, as long as it meant your utmost safety and security.

She needed it - she needed you!

Surely, you were aware of that fact?

Thoughts of you, sequestered somewhere in a state of distress, toxic mind boiling the very last traces of self-confidence, propelled her ever-forwards. She couldn't risk wasting any time, not when your life was hanging by such a threadbare rope. Nemuri's brilliant, aqua eyes were becoming glassy, as the tears threatened to spill. She wiped them away, quickly. When she finally located you, she had to retain a strong presence - for both of you.

She checked inside every classroom, every storage cupboard, and around every corner. Panic mounted her soul, creeping into her heart like a parasite. Just then, she remembered how you used to mention wanting to hide on the roof, to escape the teachers' beady eyes. It might have been a long-shot, but still, she had to look. Her pace quickened, desperate footsteps echoing in her wake. She practically the open the door, panting heavily, but smiling.

There you were, perched on the railings. A hand covered your heart, signalling your shock at her sudden, and deafening, entrance. Nemuri was ecstatic. Sure, your position was kind of dangerous, but you were alive! You were breathing, and that was more than enough cause for celebration. The moment you registered who had interrupted your time in solitude (a self-inflicted punishment, for not conforming emotionally to your peers), you promptly broke the eye-contact. You neglected to mirror her expression of sheer relief and euphoria.

You simply couldn't, for those emotions didn't manifest within you anymore.

Refusing to allow her smile to waver, she took a few steps closer, before calling out. "(Y/n)...If I've upset you in any way, then I'm sorry. But...you do know that I'm always here if you need to talk, right? Just - just don't shut me out..."

In a muffled tone, you replied, "Go away, Nemuri. You can't take this pain away."

"Maybe not yet, but I don't know anything about your situation. I won't judge you, please understand that. You're my best friend!" Another few steps forward, but then she stopped, eyes expanding in terror.

You had leaned a little too far backward, slipping, falling...

...but, Nemuri just couldn't afford to lose you.

It was a definite accident. This became evident when you locked gazes; terror had you bound. Nemuri's soft hands gripped yours, and with unusual, adrenaline-fuelled strength, she managed to pull you back to safety. Your body trembled, so she hugged you, in part to share her warmth (but also, to veil her tears from your view). Her raging mind begged to scold you for such reckless actions, but that would feel like she was reducing the severity of both the situation and your illnesses.

That wasn't a torment you deserved, in any capacity.

Despite embracing her tightly, you still stuttered out through your crystalline waterfall, "P-Please...just let m-me go."

"No, never again." The response was curt, to the point, but love emanated from it.

You really needed a tissue. 

"I c-can't take this a-anymore, Nemuri!"

"I know, but you shouldn't have to suffer through this alone. I will always be here for you, don't you ever forget that, Missy!"

[Word Count: 1324]