Ram
The moment I saw Charlie cry was my undoing. Yes, I've seen her cry, for a different reason and never did I wish it to be me. My heart was crushed inside my chest while watching her shed tears. And I just stood her gripping her arms tight and hurting her. What kind of animal am I?
"Charlie, I-"
"I hate you, Ram." she said as she sobbed uncontrollably.
Agad kong nabitawan ang braso niya. Pakiramdam ko, dinibdiban ako. I don't want her to hate me, ganun na ba kalalim ang extent ng sugat na nagawa ko sa kanya? Oo nagtataka ko kung bakit ganito ang reaksyon niya. Akala ko ba si Jareth ang mahal niya? I saw her sending iloveyoutoos to her bestfriend. But why is she so mad at me for leaving her? Mahal din kaya niya 'ko? Even just a fraction of what I feel for her would be enough. That would in fact be more than enough for me, kahit katiting na pagmamahal lang niya, masaya na 'ko.
"Forever ko na lang ba malalaman na kung sino sino ang kinakama mo? Na may kapalit na ko agad sa buhay mo? Ano ba ko sayo Ram? Part time lover? Part time bed warmer? Ang sakit sakit naman.. Kasi para sa'kin, you're more than that. You're more than just that!" it was hard to stare at her accusing eyes, painful even but I couldn't look away.
I pulled her against me. "I'm sorry kung pinaramdam ko sayo yun.. But what we had was never a part time or temporary thing for me. You should know that.. I told you, I only want you, and only you, Char.. How can you not believe that?" I can see she was crying harder now, her shoulders were shaking against my arms. "Shh, stop crying please?"
"I saw you on national television with my sister in your arms, Ram! I saw you kissing that chic in the coffee shop! How do you suppose I would make of that?!"
"Cassie and I are not together! Sinundan niya ko sa Ohio!" she wriggled out of my arms but I tightened them around her. "Please, please Charlie, listen to me!"
"Stop lying!"
"I'm not lying!" I said. "And I did not kiss Ava, she's Caleb's cousin! I don't even know why she kissed me!"
"Tama na! Ayoko nang maniwala sa mga kasinungalingan mo!" she cried. "Nasaktan na 'ko sa ginawa mong pang-iiwan sakin, hindi na 'ko papayag na saktan mo ulit ako!"
I rubbed her back to ease her crying. God! My chest tightened and it became harder for me to breath. How can I do this to her? How can I hurt her like this when all I did was love her? Bakit nasasaktan siya ng ganito? I can't take this!
"Bitawan mo 'ko, Ram." she said in between sobs.
"Ayoko, Charlie, I wont let you go." naramdaman ko ang pagpiksi niya pero mas lalo ko lang hinigpitan ang yakap sa kanya. Kahit sa ganitong pamamaraan man lang, mabawasan ko ang sakit na nararamdaman niya.
"Ram, please.." patuloy ang pagpiksi niya.
I didn't know what came to me at that time, I just grabbed her nape and lowered my lips to her. I almost cried the moment our lips touched. God! I missed her! I missed her lips, her touch, her sarcasm, her angst, her razor sharp tongue, her wits. Everything about her. At first, she was not responding but she wasn't pushing me away either. I traced my tongue on her lower lips coaxing her to open it and give me entrance. She didn't fail me.
We shared that heart warming kiss in the middle of Scor's office. It was hot, scorching and at the same time passionate. Jesus, how can she not be for me? It says in this kiss that we own each other that we are perfect for each other. Nanikip nanaman ang dibdib ko.
After a few seconds ay tinulak na niya ko at nagmamadaling naupo sa pinakagilid ng couch. She brought her knees to her chest and wrapped her arms around it in fetal position. She was facing the other way but I can see that she's crying again. Parang nadudurog ang puso ko, I can't stand this. I can't watch her like this
