Love without colour

The way we used to be

Theo P.O.V

 

What the hell does she see in his screech looking ass? The dude ain’t even her type, she’s just fooling herself if she thinks that he can really satisfy her. She had a nigga like me who was willing to do anything for her. I loved her when we were together, baby girl was my world. I was her first love.

We met when she was 14 and started dating when she was 15. It took me a whole year to convince her to go on a date with me and another month to get her to kiss me. Now she’s shacked up with his pale looking ass. I’ll be damn if I can understand her.

 

Flashback

 

“Come on Deedee, we’ve been dating for a year now, don’t you think it’s time we took this relationship to the next level?”

I couldn’t wait to get her into bed. Baby girl, done made a brother wait a year already. No other girl has ever been able to say no to me before, but it’s all cool, because I know she’s special. But damn! A year is a long time to go without getting some ass.

Shit! My boys would call me a pussy if they found out I wasn’t hitting it.

“I’m only 16 T, I ain’t ready for that yet. I need to focus on my studies, so that I can get the hell up outta this hellhole and go make something out of myself.”

Here we go again, she’s always talking about getting good grades and leaving. It’s not like the rest of us ain’t got dreams too, but sometimes you gotta to know when a dream is just a dream.

“What’s that got to do with anything? How’s your studies stopping us from being together? You’ve been my girl for a year, and all you ever let me do is kiss you. I ain’t even allowed to touch what’s s’posed to be mine.”

I could see the guilt in her eyes. She knows I’m right.

“T, I just can’t right now. I just can’t risk ending up like these girls out here. I don’t need the distraction, I’ve got a goal in mind and I can’t let anything get in the way of that. Please understand.”

Please understand! Please understand! Hell no, I don’t understand!

“Deedee, are you saying that I’m a distraction? Why the hell are we even in this relationship if that’s how you feel?”

I watched as she bit her lips and looked away with the guilt and shame in her eyes. I let out a breath and cursed a few times. This can’t be happening, I gave this girl 1 year of my life. I ain’t never creep out on her, I love her. I ain’t never told a girl I loved her before, not even to get some ass.

“You know what? Forget this shit, I’m out.”

I grabbed my jacket off the sofa and started walking out. I ain’t trying to hear anymore of her bullshit about need to focus and shit. I know when I’m being played and I ain’t about to stand and beg like a bitch. That’s the shit white people do.

“T! T! Theo! Are you just gonna walk away from a year of our life? I never said I wanted us to end. I love you T, and if you love me you’d wait for me!”

I stopped and turned to face her. Her eyes were wet and she looked so small and fragile. God damn it! I hate to see her cry. But she’s right, I do love her and I should be respecting her decision, not acting like a rat’s ass.