Love without colour

freedom ain't for me

Isabelle P.O.V

What the hell am I doing? It's clear that he still loved her, the sparks that were flying between them could have lit an entire city. But I want him, I want him for myself. Am I being selfish? Should I let them be together? After all they do have a child together, but for some reason I don't want to give him up. He is the perfect guy, and I loved him. I know I'm being selfish but I want him to be with me, to love me, to choose me. Is that so bad, to want to be love by this perfect guy? I'm not giving him up without a fight, he's mine now.

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"Surely you're not going to like, continue seeing him? Not after what we saw in the club?"

Hillary was standing over me, blocking my morning sun. I might not have time to go to the beach to work on my tan, but the sun streamed right into my bedroom window so I kinda made it my thing to lie in it for a while.

I removed my sleeping mask from over my face and squinted up at my best friend, it was barely six in the morning and her make-up was flawless. I must say that ever since she started college mornings has become her thing.

"Hill, you're kinda blocking my sun, and I'm kinda trying to work on my tan."

I deliberately ignored her questions. I did not feel like talking about my boyfriend and his ex. I pulled the mask back over my face and waited for her to move. After a while I felt the heat of the sun and I sighed, but my relief was short lived. Hillary plopped herself down on the bed beside me and I groaned. I should have known that she was never going to let it go.

"Izzy, I know you saw the way he was holding her, and heard the things he said to her."

She was right, I did see and it broke my heart, but he hadn't seen her in a year and he was just trying to protect her from Jaxson.

"Hill," I said, sitting up, "What do you want me to do, I love him? I can't just give him up, he's my perfect guy."

Her face soften, and she put her arms around me, drawing me into a hug, which I returned. I'm always the one who comforts her when she's having boyfriend problems, but now it looked like the roles are reversed. As if reading my thoughts, Hillary said.

"I never thought I'd see the day when I'd be the one giving you advice on your love life."

We both chuckled, but then mine turned into sobs.

"I should let him go, I know I should but I can't. I don't want to, Hill...does that make me a bad person?"

"No it doesn't honey, but you're going to be the one with a broken heart if you don't let him go now. Don't invest any more into this relationship, when you clearly know that it isn't going to go anywhere. He might by a perfect guy, but he's not your perfect guy...he hers."

God, I hate her for being right, but I still couldn't find it in me to just walk away from him. I pulled away from her and jump from the bed. I heard her sighed behind me but I didn't turn to look. Walking over to my wardrobe I grabbed a blue skinny jeans and a red tank top and walked into the bathroom to get change.

When I emerged sometime late Hillary was still sitting on my bed. I avoided looking at her and grab my back pack with my books and headed for the door.

"I've got a paper due soon, I'm going to go down to the library and do some research."

I turned the knob and was about to walk out, but Hillary called my name. I stopped but I didn't turn around.