Heartbreak Cure

10. Realization and Grudges

"Why do you feel so guilty?" Jess spoke on the other line. She was trying to talk you into coming down from the ledge you had so steadily climbed.

You paced your room, waving your hands in front of your face and breathing heavily as you attempted to calm yourself down. "I'm just the worst person ever!" You exclaimed and you heard Jess laugh.

"What makes you say that, girl?" She asked loudly.

"Well for one I'm a horrible friend, being this is the first time I've called you since I've moved back home." You reminded her and you knew she was nodding to herself in agreement.

"Well, true, but I didn't call you either." She added.

"Fair point." You spoke and  felt a little less guilty.

"Why else?"

"Well, my sister. I've made absolutely no progress with her and now I don't even care enough too—the real problem is I'm sorta involved with both of the guys she was in love while I was gone!" You were rambling and not positive if you were even making any sense.

"Y/n, calm down. What do you mean by involved?" She inquired and you stared down at your chipped black nails.

"I'm not sure if involved is the right word. A piece of me still loves Adrien and I'm sure that's never going to change. He invited me to this award nomination thing that Zoe's mom is hosting." You sighed and flicked your head for not remembering what the show is called. "Then there's Luka... her recent ex boyfriend, and things between him and I seem to be escalating." Your voice fell off into a whisper in case you had any eavesdroppers circling your hall.

"What do you mean by... escalating?" she asked, her voice was laced with confusion.

"I just mean...!" You took in a deep breath before continuing the conversation that proved to be more stressful than you had imagined. "There's been a few moments with him that's made my heart feel like it's beating with a natural rhythm again."

Jess was laughing softly at how I phrased my emotions. She knows I was never really good at it, no matter how much confidence I tried to have when it came to Adrien. "Is it scaring you?" Her tone was gentle as she spoke.

Your breathing hitched in your throat and you sighed as you ran your hand down your face. You tugged at your lip with your fingers before answering, "Yes." Your voice was slightly mumbled.

"I had a feeling."

"I'm not scared because of feeling something for someone—feeling something for someone other than Adrien!" You stammered, talking at a slightly slower pace so you wouldn't have to correct yourself. "Well, I guess that is a counting factor... I'm more scared because I don't know how Marinette would react if this develops any further."

"So you want to put the pin in it now?"

"No... not really," you whispered. She was laughing again. You hated how she found your dramatic life so amusing, but you understood where she was coming from. You would be laughing too if you weren't the one experiencing it.

"Girl, you know I've always told you to do what makes you happy. It's time you stop considering what she wants all the time and finally take something for you. You already let her ruin your first trip out of that place by leaving for New York because of a fight. Don't let her take any more happiness from you, it's all you now, Y/n." You sighed with her words, remembering now why you decided to call her.

"Thanks, Jess. You're the best, as always." You stared at your stressed image that reflected from the mirror, tucking a piece of hair behind your ear.