Heartbreak Cure

14. Denial and Anger

"Y/n, be rational."

"Fuck rational Jess!" You were pacing your room as you searched for your suitcase you swore you brought back up there.

"You can't just leave."

"Found it!" You grinned crazily as you pulled out your travel luggage from under your bed.

"Y/n, what are you doing?" Jess sighed as she heard you laughing almost manically.

"Mm such a shame. Maybe you should get an IPhone and then you would be able to see what I am doing." You stuck your tongue out in the direction of your phone.

"Don't be bratty with me, you're the one who called."

"Because I need you to clear my old room back out because there is no way in hell that I'm staying here in Paris with my bitchy sister, the lying love of my life, and pushy fucking Luka!" You screamed and realized there were tears streaming down your face.

"Y/n, we're housing another exchange student. I told you this." Her voice was soft because she knew how fragile you must've been.

You felt your legs weaken from under you.

"Are you okay?" Jess asked and you were now on the floor with your back pressed against your bed frame.

"Yeah. You already told me there was someone new, I don't know why I thought they'd be gone." You spoke with half of a laugh and covered your face with your hands.

"Things will get better Y/n, they always do. You just have to stick it through or else you'll miss every good thing that'll come your way."

"I promise I'll try Jess, but if things don't improve than you better kick that other student out." She laughed at your response.

"The couch is always open hun." You could tell that she was grinning which made you laugh softly.

"Go to bed now, and put your clothes back in your closet."

"Okay mom." You spoke sarcastically.

"I'm serious Y/n."

"Jess." Your voice was shaky as you felt a sudden tightness rush your chest.

"What's wrong Y/n?" She sounded frantic.

"I just..." you took in a deep breath, "There's so many secrets around me...everyone is hiding something and it's become so much that it feels...suffocating!" You choked out a sob as your body shook, and she made a shushing noise almost as if she was trying to calm a crying baby.

Your hands shook rapidly and you were amazed that you could even keep a grip on your phone. Your room around you felt like it was spinning and you quickly felt yourself loosing control of your breathing.

"Y/n, you need to try and breath, take a deep breath in," She spoke and you listened to her as well as you could, "And out." Again, you obliged, feeling self aware once more.

"Tell me five things in your room." Her voice was firm.

"Um...I...my book, The Invisible Life of Addie Larue, my shoes I made with Zoe, my map, my clothes in the corner I've yet to donate, and I have a my keyboard." You told her and felt your breathing begin to steady.

"That's part of a grounding technique I use when I experience any sort of anxiety or panic attack like you just did. For me it works well with both. Are you feeling better?" Jess asked with a hopeful tone.

"Yes." You spoke breathily.

"Good. Go downstairs and get some water and try and get some sleep. If you can't, listen to some relaxing music and take a nice bath." Her voice was demanding but it was just as caring as she had always been.