Finding Melody

13: I Did Not Need This

Sunny rays and walks in the town was all Natalie could think about, as she sat on the couch going through the itinerary, yes that was how bored she was. She had time to plan the whole thing.

Down to each detail, down to each second. I just knew nobody had this same level of commitment for anything, I sure didn't.

"I even made some time where we could do anything you wanted to do", she cheered, going through each item and crossing it off. I knew she wanted to find anything to make me feel included in a sense, but I had to remind her again that I was already going to have a fantastic time without anyone else there with me.

"I think I'll be okay", I told her, hoping she would take it off her schedule of things. I knew half of the time I would be out in the city, wandering through the culture that was embedded in the town.

We were supposed to be in Aruba in ten hours, and during the time since she had planned this trip Natalie found every opportunity to invite anyone she knew. She said they could come with us, but at this point she had invited her hairstylist, her doctor, the mailman, everyone at work, and yet no one had said yes. If some random lady came up to me and invited me on a trip, I would kick her and run away. She would definitely be a kidnapper, but that was just Natalie, warm, bubbly and pregnant.

"I told Nolan's assistant to ban him from calling and checking in",she laughed, she had really really wanted him to take time off, recently. He had been working like a maniac lately, leaving early so that he could come home and spend time with us. He also knew of Natalie's boredom, which left her in a new place of exploring the house, especially the kitchen.

"I don't know if he'd like that", I told her, yet she didn't seem to care. I knew she saw him more stressed out than I did.

"At this point I just want him to calm down for a second", she sat lying down on the side of my bed, I had never really slept on. That was where Dallas had slept that night, that fearful night.

I had been thinking about him more than I should be on this endless summer break, well that's what it felt like. Why did he care so much? After everything I had said to him and him to me, he was still like ice, so stiff against any touch. But yet something had changed, something powerful between us. Maybe we had moved from that stage of hatred.

I just couldn't wait to be lost in the city, and I could read as many books I wanted on the sandy beach, it was the perfect vacation for a book lover. I could just imagine reading on the deck that overlooked the ocean, or settling down in a small cafe near the heart of the city.

I wanted to just forget about all the unnecessary things I worried about, well the things that wouldn't let me forget them, like my nightmares. My nightmares would find their way to sneak in, they always did, but I had my music and since the beach house was quite big, I was given a floor to myself. I just wanted to be secluded, for no one to hear the wretched screams that would awake everyone in the middle of the night. They all knew I had nightmares, when I used to force myself to sleep at their houses, I would wake up with flailing arms and eyes that looked like they had seen a ghost, and every time I did.

"You're not bringing your swimsuit?"Natalie asked, unpacking everything I had just packed, it wasn't like I had really packed it. I just folded them in a neat stack, saving space for my books. Natalie had tried showing me her technique for having the minimum amount of space taken up, but I could never roll my clothes that small.

I didn't expect myself to go swimming, hence why I had no swimming suits in my suitcase. I expected myself to have a book every turn I took, books and getting wet don't mix, but for Natalie's sake, I would add a couple just to keep her feeling prepared.