Finding Melody

66: Helping

It has been five days, of waiting, of breathing each other's air in the small hospital room we were given. We spent the past five days talking. His mind apologizing for every single misstep he could've made. But the issues lied there, he needed help. He needed help more than anyone else here, signally defined by the fact that he wanted to believe that he didn't have anyone. That he was all alone.

That he didn't have a system supporting him, a system looking out for him.

I wanted to carry his weight, take on his pain, but he carried so much that it was already a part of him. I don't think he knew how to part with it when it was all over. And it saddened me more than anything. It saddened me that this was his life, filled with pain of all sorts. He was afraid to have a life without it I think.

"She'll be awake soon". I said, softly, stroking his hair to the side as he laid on my lap.

"She's supposed to be awake already". He said, sighing as we both stared at her. That was all we could look at the past few days. We waited for her to move, for her to smile, for anything from her.

I wanted to be there for him, to show him I was here and that I loved him. But his mind was blank, his heart too, so for the past few days I hugged him as tightly as I could and I never let go of him. Afraid he would feel the same, think the same, be the same. All he could think about was the worst that could come from this, the idea of what happened if she didn't wake up.

"She's always believed in me, before you, I didn't even know someone could love me that much". His words ripped through my heart, as I kissed his forehead, wiping away the tears formed along his cheeks. I could remember the same, the same feeling of discovery, when seeing that Natalie saw me as her whole world, that she valued me among most. That she truly did love me with everything she had.

I hadn't believed anyone could've loved me more than she could, yet here I was with a family that I loved and loved me and I had never dreamed of anything more needed, than just simple love from someone.

"She taught me how to be better for myself, she taught me how to be better for you". He said, looking up at me and smiling.

"She clearly still has some work to do". He said, referring to everything in the past. We still hadn't talked about how he may need to get counseling, he had a drinking problem. He was one of those people who didn't drink all of the time, but the moment he thought something was going bad, he reverted to going drinking and this had happened so many times that I was worried for him.

"Just a little bit". I joked with him, kissing his cheek as he leaned back into my embrace. Keeping his head up, as he turned to face me.

"I'm going to get some coffee, do you want some?" I asked him and he shook his head, staring at Vi. I slipped out from under him and began walking downstairs. I missed home, I missed my family more than anything and I was happy that the doctors were sure she would wake up today or tomorrow. I missed home, and Natalie more than anything.

I dialed her number, hoping she would pick up. We had talked recently, but it never felt like enough. When they had found out what had happened, Nolan wanted to stay with us while we were here, but I told him he didn't have to. They understood why Pete couldn't come, but Natalie was angry with Paris for not being there for her daughter. She ended up buying Paris out of her shares of the company. And she avoided her every chance she could.

Natalie even tried to fly out to stay with us, but we promised them we were okay just being here. And there was nothing they could do, when she hadn't even woken up yet.

Pete had been staying in the hospital in Seattle at the time, but they called everyday and he was working on managing his health mentally and physically and he was working with his counselor to figure out a plan to take the load off Dallas. And even Natalie and Nolan had their hearts broken when they found out that Dallas and his sister lived by themselves in that house, and their father stayed elsewhere.