Finding Melody

41: A Game

No matter how many showers I had, nothing could take away the pain, the stench, the guilt that piled in from my stomach. Avoidance it worked like a stressed student, doing what they can but never enough. It was never enough to know that I was home, safe, it was never enough to know that I was in my bed, again safe.

He knew where I lived, he could do anything he wanted to me and I was a mute mouse. I was disgusted by him, disgusted by who he was, who he had turned into.

I was tired of fighting, tired of never getting back to happiness.

So I stayed home, avoiding it all. Avoiding the pain, the humiliation, but nothing changed. School resumed for the next week, and I stayed home every single day. Claiming I wanted to stay home, for the pure reason of wanting to be around my new niece and nephew.

And Zeke wasn't the only one I was avoiding, I didn't want to see Dallas right now. I didn't want to look at him and think that I had deceived him in any way. I couldn't imagine him, coming up next to me, hugging me, kissing me, touching me.

Vi had invited me over, and I was guaranteed he wouldn't be there. Vi didn't ask why, and I was glad she hadn't.

I stood at the door of the porch I had come to, when I was in need of help, the first time Zeke had ever caused me to physically bleed.

I knocked on it firmly as I heard a voice yell "it's open".

I walked in, noticing the brown suitcases by the door, his suitcases. It didn't even look like he had bothered pulling them upstairs. They were stuck there, right by the stairs.

"Mellie, I missed you so much", she said, happily, rushing towards me with heavy eyes, and paler skin, but a smile of joy covered her face.

"How was the trip?" She asked, after we had settled down, into the kitchen barstools. The trip was- astonishing, everything I had wanted it to be. We kissed like our lips depended on it. I had never felt that fiery need to be kissed by someone more, but the thought of kissing anyone now. I couldn't stomach it.

"It was good, very good", I replied, trying to reassure myself that I wouldn't let Zeke's disgusting behavior bother me. I felt weirdly safe here, Zeke would never show up here, he was smart enough to never do that.

I hoped he was.

"Just good?" Vi asked, smothering her sandwich with peanut butter. Her smile went sideways, a small smirk outlined one side, she wanted to know how good.

"Did Dallas say anything?" I blurted out. Not my brightest moment, now Vi knew, she knew something had happened at least.

"He came home one night all happy, the first night and then the next night he came back all mopey and drunk, he's been drinking the last couple of days. I was hoping you knew, if something was going on", She asked, leaning in for me to hear her whispers as if someone else was here.

This was news to me, I knew it has been a couple of days since Dallas had knocked on my window. But I just assumed he was busy, besides it's not like I wanted to see him. It was torturous enough being here, of all places.

"Nothing's going on that I know of", I said stumped as I followed her into the other room, grabbing a bag of popcorn from the cupboard. This was news to me, news to me of how he had suddenly become unstable. I know I should've checked on him, reached out to him. I just-. I didn't even know what was going on with me. I didn't want to confuse him, especially knowing that if he came up to me, I wouldn't be able to look into his eyes without breaking into tears.

I was a mess, an uncontrolled mess. I felt like scrubbing at my skin every second I could, I still couldn't feel comfortable, I still felt uneasy, like Zeke was here, touching my skin.