Finding Melody

64: Hearts and Lungs Pt.1

The rush of the wind carried us home, well it tried to survive beneath us but the worry crept in as we loaded the plane. Vi stared longingly at the view before we stepped into the plane. Like she was saying goodbye to her heart as she left. Like her heart was being left here.

Dallas had the same expression. He didn't know it, but it was written all over his face, the dread of returning. The dread of resurfacing the reality of our lives.

He knew what this meant, this idea that everything was about to be gone, the memories, the truth. I think the reality of this hurt Dallas the most.

"Leaving is the worst part". Dallas said, his arm wrapping around Vi as she looked up at him. She smiled softly, aware of the situation she was in, aware of the world she was in. Aware of the ending to her story.

"I'm not getting better". She heaved out, her voice breaking, her heart melting. And I finally saw that she was holding all this in, because she didn't believe it would get this far. She wasn't content with death, she had to fight. She had lots more to do, to fight, to explore the world. I wouldn't let this be her last time here. She would come back every year after. Every year to show she survived.

Surviving was the best she could do. Surviving was the only thing she could do.

"Vi. You've gotta try". Dallas said, his voice cracking as he wrapped his arms around her. He had been so relaxed about this on the outside, he said she was happy. She felt free. But no one can feel free when approaching even the idea of death, especially not a child.

"I did. I've been. You have to save me Dallas". She coughed, as he tried to comfort her as the captain wanted to usher us in but I stopped him. Whispering at him to give us a moment.

She kept coughing, her voice becoming peckish as she tried to swallow the phlegm.

"I want to go home". Vi said, as she let out a cough alarming to the flight attendants as she walked unsteadily to her seat. I helped her get to her seat, as she coughed.

"Vi- I don't think we should travel when-". Dallas began saying but he didn't want to say what everyone saw coming. Life had been drained from her face, her everlasting smile wasn't there, and the cough that still continued sounded alarming.

"I just want to go home". She cried out, her voice lost in her tears as she choked and had to cough again. Her face was pale, her eyes seemed lost, unsure of themselves as she held onto the railing like she needed it to keep her upright.

My eyes trailed to Dallas, withering in the corner. The plane door is still not shut, ready to be used if needed. And Dallas wanted it to be needed, he wanted to let her rest in the comfort of land, rather than into the sky.

He was nervous, just as pale as Vi as he watched her, his eyes unable to meet mine to offer me anything of clarity. He had none. He had no clarity to give, he had none for himself either. I think he wanted to know, he wanted to know what to say and what to do. How to comfort her, how to be there for her. But he couldn't. He just watched, unable to move.

But then again, I was doing the same thing. The same thing filled floating verbatim, watching him, watch Vi. I wished I had clarity, I wished I knew what to say, what to do. I wish I knew how to be the person he needed. I wish I knew how to be the half of him when he can't be that.

"Please". She unsteadily said, her voice holding back tears that were set to let loose if anyone derailed from what she needed. I watched Dallas's eyes, he wanted to give in, he wanted to give her everything she wished for. And this was one of her wishes. To go home.

"Vi". He said once more, wanting to regain her attention, but her eyes hazily looked over, unsure. He wanted her attention, but she had nowhere to give her attention as she shook her head.