Finding Melody

36: I Want You

I was already here, no turning back now. I should've said no, no to all of this as the music blared into my sensitive ears and the hazy lights went unnoticed due to the alcohol everyone was dousing, like it never would run out. I swear even I, someone who wasn't drinking felt faint, they must have mixed the booze into the air.

Liam had come by, this morning, mentioning a party, taking place in the suite which supposedly Dallas had passed up having to move down here with me. So now I felt obligated to do whatever he wanted to, and this party seemed right up his alley.

I didn't want him not to go, because I was stingy about drinking, because I would rather stay sober the rest of the night and he got it mixed up in his head that you can't have fun at parties, if you're sober. At this point in time, maybe he was right.

I leaned into the hallway, watching people smash their lips against each other as I heard my solo cup of punch, definitely spiked punch. Dallas was across the room, god he looked good. He looked heavenly, godlike, something you didn't see everyday, luckily for me I saw it everyday, every fucking day.

I went back to this morning when his sweet words whispered into my ear, suggesting a cozy night, a night where we locked ourselves in at home with our books, and we would eat numerous amounts of toast with many many different cheeses. He was amused how they all taste different, and I loved seeing his face as he was so surprised by each of them.

I stepped back, looking throughout the room watching as the party went on, and I held the suspicious drink in my hand, staring at it like someone had just peed in it. It smelled fermented.

My mind went back to this morning as Dallas interrogated me to the point of breaking.

Earlier
"I promise, whenever you want to leave, just tell me", he called out from the bathroom as he fixed his hair, trying to make it hold with all the gel he had lathered in it. He handed me the jar, as I applied it onto his hair, leaning close to him, as he just peered down the whole time.

"I can take care of myself, I don't need a babysitter", I told him, and he shook his head, assuming the position of a bodyguard rather than babysitter.

"I used to go to these parties all the time, I know how to handle myself", I told him, hoping he wouldn't stay by my side the whole night making sure I had fun. It was like my elementary school teacher had come to this party with me, and she kept asking if I had gotten along with everyone and if I was having fun. Like every kindergartener you bet I was having the time of my life, I didn't even know anything about my father, about my mother, even about my sister.

He took a step back, looking at how well I had done his hair, he took the gel from my hands and I led myself to the bathroom. It was as if he and I fit perfectly, not once did we collide into each other in this small bedroom and bath, we had the same pace, the same logic. And it was like we were a married couple that had adapted to the other's habits. I did his hair, he zipped my dress whenever he could, even if I could perfectly do it myself.

"What's with this used to?" He asked as I rushed back out, leading myself to the table I had been sitting at, fixing my makeup. I was intending on 'wooing' him tonight, I wanted him to see me as someone who wouldn't always be there, someone who attracted a competition. Maybe that would make something finally happen in our everlasting game of tug a war.

"I was a different person before I came here", I simply said, I knew he knew to leave it and not dive into this answer further than what I had given him. He looked at me with intrigue, there's not one single person that knows this Melody, and the old Melody, who didn't care about anything, about who she hurt, about how she acted out, about breaking rules. We were very different people.