Finding Melody

21: An Ugly Beast Pt.1

Parties, they were the social invitation of teen years, yet each person went for different reasons. But for me, as the time neared 5:30, and my handy dandy, 'can't say no to me' date was coming at 6, so in other words I was screwed and now sick. I merely had no reasons, not a single one. The anxiety of this night just got to me quicker than I could manage, no amount of painkillers would help me tonight. I was going unmedicated and very very bothered.

How was I supposed to go tonight? How was I supposed to face Zeke, let alone Dallas? And so I did what I always do, run from this event, a soul crushing event. So when Natalie walked into my room, I was balled in my bed and clutching my stomach like I was bound to have an alien pop out through the skin. It hurt that much, well that's what I described to her. I couldn't tell her the truth about Zeke, I couldn't crush her idea of me ever finding love.

"What's wrong, hunny?" She came and sat on my bed, as I hoped she would see the mess on my floor and wonder if I had spent all day getting ready for this supposedly 'event of the year' and now I had become violently ill. That's what I was trying to sell, I wasn't sure it was working, though.

"I feel sick, my stomach hurts, and I just feel achy", I told her and she placed her warm hand on my head, feeling for what I assumed was a fever. She seemed to be relieved with her findings, but I wasn't relieved, bummer bummer I had no fever.

"You should stay home tonight", she suggested as I relaxed back into the soft cushions of my bed. She went into my bathroom, washing her hands and I just covered the blanket over my body, which did feel a bit achy.

"Could you just tell Zeke if he shows that I'm sick?" I told her, knowing I had already texted him that I was feeling sick, and maybe even contagious. But I had a feeling he wouldn't check it and he would show up here, demanding for us to leave.

"You should get some sleep", she nodded to my request and shut the door behind her, as I comforted myself back into the folds of my sheets and blankets. I felt safe, safe in my own skin.

And I was so close to sleeping, until the doorbell rang and my eyes opened the size of a penny, never closing. My stomach started paining again, as I heard their conversation from downstairs. Shoes were what I heard next, just one pair, I had hoped it was Natalie. I needed it to be Natalie or just a figment of my imagination.

But as the shoes neared and the door opened with no knock, Natalie always knocked. I knew to fear the worst.

"I heard you weren't feeling good", Zeke said as soon as he stepped into the room, he didn't even survey his surroundings, look around the room of what makes his girlfriend who she was. Instead his eyes were plastered on me, not in a good way.

"Yeah, just feeling sick", I told him blandly as he approached my bed. How close he was to me, frightened me, the bile rose just like that day.

"Are you really sick, though? You don't look sick", he commented and I really couldn't expect anything more or anything less from him.

"I feel sick", I tried pulling the comforters above my shoulders, but he snagged them, pulling them down.

"I don't know why you went to the hospital yesterday? If you can go there, you can go to this one party? It's not that difficult", he said, raising his voice the slightest. I wasn't sure if he was talking to me right as a man and a woman, who respected one another. I had never heard Nolan speak to Natalie this way, she would slap him if he did. But they had a different dynamic, a loving one. I convinced myself Zeke just wanted the best for me.

"So get up, put some makeup on and get dressed, I'll wait here", he demanded. I never wore makeup on a regular basis, I wasn't necessarily sure how to apply it, but maybe I was finally showing symptoms of me being 'sick'. I didn't understand Zeke, he was so sweet in the beginning and now he had changed and taken me back, without even a nod of approval from me. I guess I could have cleared this up with him that day in the nurse's office, but what was I supposed to say. What was I supposed to do?