Finding Melody

58: Struggling

I was struggling to help him, to offer him comfort during this time, he seemed so far away from us at all times. I knew he was trying to push himself away from this... I knew he felt he would be less hurt, but he already was involved. She was his sister, his beautiful and loving sister. There was not an evil bone in her body. And it hurt him more, as I watched them interact slowly his eyes couldn't meet hers.

But he talked, he tried to, the way they used to... I could only imagine the words whirling in his head as he looked at her. Death striked us madly, I understood his words that night, he tried I knew he did. But he pushed, pushed so far that the only thing he would soon want would be a bottle in hand, and I prayed he would turn to me, before that came his solution to this.

Today was the big day, the big day filled with absolute misery as Vi was getting surgery today on her lungs, and Dallas couldn't let go of her hand. There was such a strong percentage that she wouldn't survive, but she said she wanted it. This was her road to recovery, a recovery she could deal with. In recovery she wanted to try her hardest, even if it meant risking herself on the table.

Dallas's father was wandering around the room, nimble fingers covered his mouth and I saw the pain in his eyes as a nurse sat with him in the room. Any moment of trauma would be so much for him to contain, to even process I could see his worry through his eyes, but to him and even Dallas the world was swirling and never letting go was an option they both chose.

"Promise me you'll be okay". Vi asked Dallas, trying to stay unknown to the idea behind this, trying to stay behind what she was really talking about as the doctors helped transfer her to her bed.

"We have time... can't you just stay? With me. I need you". Dallas let out breathily as Vi summoned me over and I let my hand gently graze Dallas's as he took it with him in his hand.

"Whatever happens, you have to promise me that you'll take care of yourself". She asked of him, and he couldn't bring his eyes to hers as she mumbled softly and my phone began ringing. I switched it off as I looked back over at them. Hugging in place as he whispered in her ear and she snickered. He did too, the laugh I wished to bring back.

"Mellie". She hushed softly as I hugged her too, my hand crowding against Dallas's skin and I wished he would let me take some of the pain he felt.

She felt cold, so sick the poor child that didn't deserve any of this. Not a single thing. Suddenly the beeping strung Dallas and I away from her. The doctors rushed in, panic covering all of our faces as sobs escaped Dallas's dad who shuddered in the corner.

"We have to go now". The doctors said as her numbers started moving and she withered out a short bye before she was pushed out of the room onto the small bed. He flailed to the chair as he stuttered back, he stared at the place her bed had been.

My phone buzzed again as I turned it off.

"You can take it". He said, more like an order, the few words he had even said to me today. It didn't bother me how his mind felt absent at the moment.

"I'll call later". I said, taking a seat next to him and keeping my hands far from him.

"Just go take the fucking call. I don't need to be coddled". He spat out, and his father didn't even flinch. I don't even think he was here at this point, he looked so absent.

I reached out for Dallas as he pulled back, pulling everything apart for us.

I didn't flinch as he said it in a way where he was  pissed off in every way, and I took my phone in hand and left the room. He was angry, I understood that. He was mad. I understood that. But we had been through this before, in this very same place.