The Giant and His Light : Book 2

Part Nine

Zanoxolo: "What do you mean by that?" He suddenly asked angrily. Their eyes widened in fear and shock. I didn't blame them. I would also be scared of the giant. His presence was intimidating, let alone his voice.
Ayanda: "P-please come in. We'll explain everything inside." He said opening the gate. I wonder what they meant when they said I looked like him. Who was him? My father? And also, their sister spoke what truth? My chest and stomach squeezed tightly with nerves. Something wasn't right. I could feel it. Why had they looked at me like they had seen a ghost just a minute ago?
Zanoxolo: "Are you the two uncles I spoke with on the phone?" They both nodded.
Ayanda: "I'm Ayanda, and this is my brother Anele." They introduced themselves. They looked younger than I expected. The one named Anele looked like he was still in his early 30's, and Ayanda looked like he was in his late 30's. They were short in height. It was funny how the giant towered over them. Well, the giant towered over everyone, except George. Anyway, both men had to look up to the giant when speaking to him.  The giant and I shook both of the men's hands. They both gave me nervous and apologetic glances, then they led us inside the house. The giant took my hand in his and I was grateful to him for that because I needed to be connected to him for some reason. I could feel that something life changing was going to happen. Oh my gosh. I was even shaking a little. The giant squeezed my hand in his. We got to the sitting area. Two people were there. A woman that seemed to be in her 60's who I guessed was my grandmother because she looked a lot like my mother, and another that looked middle aged. When my grandmother saw me her eyes widened in horror and disbelief, then she burst in tears. They way she was crying it was like her loved one had died. It was loud and ugly.
Zanoxolo: "If somebody doesn't tell us what the fuck is going on, we will leave." He said growling.
Ayanda: "Please sit down. We will explain everything." The giant grunted unhappily. He was pissed. I on the other hand was going through mixed emotions. My stomach was in knots. We sat down with the giant and my uncles sat next to the other woman. She was also looking at me the same way that my uncles and grandmother had looked at me. I was now squeezing the hell out of the giant's hand and my heart was even beating fast. My mind was already running in circles trying to figure out what bomb these people were going to lay on us. I was not ready. Please God. I prayed silently. I really had a bad feeling and even my mouth had a bitter taste now. Mind you, my grandmother was still crying.
Zanoxolo: "Somebody better start fucken talking." The giant's patience had run out. My uncles looked at each other, and then they looked at the woman next to them.
Her: "We're sorry for being rude. My name is Sindiswa. I​ am their cousin." She said indicating to my uncles... "and that is Mam' Mamngwevu. She's your grandmother." She said to me... "and you must be her fiancé." She said to the giant. The giant grunted his yes.
Zanoxolo: "Can we please pass these formalities. My woman is nervous and uncomfortable as it is already with your looks and all this crying." He told them... "now start talking." He said to my uncles. They both looked at each other nervously. Ayanda cleared his throat. I guess he was the one who was going to tell us what the heck was going on.
Ayanda: "Um...this thing is like this. Our older sister...your mother Busi..." He paused looking at me licking his lips nervously. Oh my gosh! I swallowed.
Anele: "Mom please stop crying." He said to my grandmother.
Grandmother: "my child...my child..." She cried putting both of her hands on her head.
Ayanda: "So as I was saying...Lindeka was a very unruly when she was young. So if I were to put it in simple English, she was wild and loose. Then when she was about sixteen years, she fell pregnant with you..." He trailed off and cleared his throat... "she...she... claimed that... that..." He stopped talking and shook his head. His voice was even a little shaky now... "Sindy carry on with the story." He said to his cousin. Sinidiswa nodded and brushed her hands nervously on her lap. I was now holding on to the giant's arm. I felt weak all of a sudden. Please God. I begged. I don't even know what I was begging for, I wanted him to save me from whatever was about to be said which I was sure was about to change my life in a big and drastic way.
Sindiswa: "Your mother, my child, when she was questioned about her pregnancy, she said that...that... Zaleni who was her step-father had...had been raping her so he was the one who impregnated her." Everything in me just shut down. And this loud and high sound started ringing in my ears.
Zanoxolo: "What the fuck?" He growled in outburst... "where is this Zaleni fucker now?"
Sinidiswe: "He's no more. He died three years ago." I now had my head on the giant's shoulder and my eyes were closed shut. I couldn't feel anything. My whole body felt numb. That loud and high sound was still ringing in my ears and the words 'rape' kept repeating in my head. Rape. Rape. Rape. Rape... "when Lindeka had told the family about Zaleni...um...raping her, nobody believed her. The reason being, Tat' Zaleni was a loving and kind man and he especially doted on Lindeka-."
Zanoxolo: "Obviously he was doting on her because he knew he was violating her behind the scenes. And you people fell for his acting." He said angrily... "I mean didn't you see the signs because I'm sure the signs were there for you people to see."
Sindiswa: "We-."
Zanoxolo: "A sixteen year old! A fucken sixteen year old tells you that she was getting raped by her step-father and you people claim that she's lying?!" He shouted... "and let me guess, you thought that because she was a wild and loose girl as you said, she lied because she didn't know who the father of the baby was? Right?" No response... "so you decided to throw her out? Because I know that's what happened. A pregnant sixteen year old, out on the streets alone, having to fend for herself." My grandmother sobbed more loudly and painfully. You're a product of rape! You're a product of rape! You're a product of rape! The voices in my head started chanting. I dug my nails into the giant's arm... "don't worry my heart, I'll take you out of here in a minute, then we'll both deal with those voices in your head." He said softly to me... "before we leave, I just want to confirm something with you people. The reason why you wanted to meet with Busisiwe wasn't because you wanted to be united with her but you wanted to see if what her mother had said back then was the truth or not so that you can ease your guilt."
Sindswa: "Yes, but it wasn't only-."
Zanoxolo: "I've heard enough." He cut her off... "you guys used me, and in turn caused my woman pain. And one thing you must know is that I don't play nice to people who hurt my woman so I won't forgive you guys easily for today." He told them... "and you people must just forget about the lobola negotiations because you don't deserve the money I was going to give you. Instead I'll just give it to my woman's mother."
Anele: "We didn't mean any harm. We admit that we did our sister and you wrong, but especially our sister. But he was our father! A good father at that. So what did you expect us to do or act when she told us that he was raping her?"
Zanoxolo: "To believe your sister when she told you that bastard had raped her. She was sixteen for goodness sake." He growled... "let's go baby." He said standing up and I stood up with him because I was still holding onto to him. I felt weak-kneed...actually my whole body was weak. The voices in my head were getting louder and louder. I wanted to get out of here. Zano needed to get me out of here. Now! We told you that you're useless and worthless. Now this proves it more. I shook my head. Now you know the reason why your mother hates you so much. Do you blame her? She was violated in the worst possible way, then you come and remind her of the person that impurified her. You are an abomination. Abomination! Abomination! Abomination! The voices chanted and I screamed in pain... "hold on baby, we're almost there." I didn't even notice that we had been moving. Please leave me alone. Please. I hated these voices. I hated how loud and cruel they were when they attacked me. I hated them more because I couldn't differentiate between what is real or not real. The giant opened the passenger door... "get in baby." I clung onto him crying. He pulled me to him into a tight hug and I cried against his chest screaming... "baby let's get out of here first and then we'll deal with those voices in your head okay?" I wrapped my arms around his waist tightly and shook my head against his chest.
Me: "Don't leave me Zano please." I begged crying. I knew that if I let go of the giant, the demons in my head would take over completely. At least with him holding me, I could try to hold on to the little sanity I had. I could try and fight the demons with him by my side.
Zanoxolo: "I'm not leaving you my heart. Never! I'll be in the car with you and you can hold on to my hand or arm as hard as you want." He told me... "I just want to get us the fuck out of here before I match in back to that house and do something I might regret." He said angrily... "fucken bastards only wanted to meet you for their own selfish reasons." He muttered to himself growling softly. You're worthless. You deserve no one. You're going to be all alone. No one will want to be associated with a bad and disgusting seed as you. You're a product of rape! Your man will definitely not want you now. He will leave you. No he won't. He loves me. Maybe at first he did love you, but now he'll surely not. He will! He will not! Who would love a disgusting person like you? You don't even love yourself, so how do you expect him to love you. You're an abomination! Abomination!
Me: "I'm not!" I shouted crying. You are. Your mother was raped by her father, so that makes you an abomination! You were not supposed to be born!... "please stop....please stop..." I begged sobbing.
Zanoxolo: "Listen to me my heart. Try with all your might to block those voices okay? They're not real." They're not? They sound real.... "come...in you go." He said making me sit on the car sit. I cried clinging to his neck... "let go my heart." I shook my head profusely. He kissed me on the lips, on my nose and on both eyes... "let go my heart." He said softly trying to disentangle my arms from around his neck. I let go of him reluctantly... "good girl." He said rewarding me with a kiss on the lips. He adjusted my sit so that it was low. I heard the dashboard open and then a few minutes later the giant was giving me pills to take... "here baby, drink this." He said giving me the bottle of water and helping me drink to down the pills... "the pills will make you sleep my heart." He told me brushing my head soothingly. Yes! Anything that will quiet down the voices and make me check out of this reality of a nightmare was okay with me, because my mind was starting to get disorientated. I hated it when I got to this part. I was even starting to question who the giant was and who I also was. He kissed me and closed the passenger door. I was about to scream thinking he had left me when he entered his side. I quickly grabbed his arm. He put the car on start... "let me work this gear first my heart and will give you back my arm." I let go of his arm reluctantly. He worked the gear and I grabbed his arm again as soon he was finished and he drove off. Thank God his car was an automatic because I seriously don't know how he would've been able to drive. I closed my eyes trying to block out the voices in my head but I was failing. I shook my head with tears rolling cheeks. As the minutes went by, I felt myself getting drowsy. The giant was now brushing his thumb lightly on my wrist. The voices in my head even sounded distorted and faraway now. I welcomed the darkness with open arms and fell asleep.