Investigating on the Air

Episode 1

"Hello! I am your host Vox and as you know these are my associates."

"Hey."

"Hi guys!" cheered Velvet.

"So, due to your positive comments, we will be doing the show on the Radio Demon and this is our first, OFFICIAL, episode." He shot Velvet a dirty look, who only smirked in response.

"Now starting off, we will talk about Al's radio show as he IS the Radio Demon."

Velvet snatched the mic, "According to recent surveys, only around 6 to 10 demons actually listen to his show."

"Wow, He really is old news. No one even listens anymore." Valentino snickered.

"So we are actually going to listen in on one of his broadcasts. He should be starting soon and because he only does this on the radio, we got one just for the occasion. We couldn't get it new and had to look for a while in the antique shop we went to." Vox had somehow gotten the mic back.

They had to take a few minutes to figure out how to use it before they finally got it right and just in time too.

Alastor was starting the broadcast.

"Now lets listen to this train wreck" Vox chuckled.

^ Radio ^

^ "Hello citizens of hell! And welcome to my weekly broadcast! As always, I am Alastor and this is my co-host Michael, Mic for short. To start off, we will open the floor for questions" ^

The three sinners snickered at the silence that followed until someone finally called.

^ "Hey Alastor, I was curious as to how you feel with your listeners slowly dwindling"

Alastor seemed to pause for a moment before saying

"Truthfully, I don't really care for the amount of listeners I have."

"How do you feel about the new technology?" ^

Vox perked up at this question and leaned in further.

^ "The new technology is irritating to say the least but I will go further into detail if you would like"

"Please do"

"It is irritating due to the frequencies, I would say. For me, I can function and work on the lower frequencies but because they function on a higher frequency, it is difficult to understand at times. Difficult but not impossible. An example of the frequencies would be my very voice. In person my voice has a static edge to it but if I spoke at a higher frequency, similar to Vox, then you would be able to hear it more clearly. I have been able to speak at a higher frequency but I didn't fancy the sound so I stopped. I don't know if it is the same for Vox." ^

Vox frowned. He had never thought of that.

"Just imagine his voice at a higher frequency as I ram him into-" Valentino had a coffee mug thrown at his head.

"Not in this holy Christian household!" Velvet yelled

"Since when were we Christian?" Vox asked 

"We are literally in hell and I am a literal pimp. That ship has long sailed" 

Velvet cackled.

^ "Hey Al, What's Your type?" ^ 

Valentino shot up at this question. Vox fell out of his chair.

^ "Hey listener, what is your address?" Mic spoke up.

"Point made"

"Good"

"Instead of that question, how about this one, favorite meat?"

"Venison, next!"

"What kind of skills do you have?"

"I can sing, dance, cook, and much more that I won't get into at the moment."

"Are you a virgin?"

"Yes" He sounded tired.

"How?"

"I had little to none interest in such events, then and now" ^

Valentino gave sly grin, "A virgin? Well, aren't I one lucky bastard?"

"How are you the lucky one?! I have a better chance in hell then you ever will! In fact, I'm already here!" Vox yelled

"Now wait, I have an idea."

"What?"

"Why not tag team him? I would give both of us a Very desirable ending."

Vox look like he was actually contemplating the idea before he gave a grin to rival Valentino's.

And Velvet . . . 

She looked like she was done with these two and the dead look in her eyes said it all. They were cheesy when it came to romance. For a second, she looked like she sucked on a lemon.

"Oh, how I wish he would suck on my-" Velvet threw her chair at him.

These Horny Bastards.

So typical.

The broadcast was still going when the video was cut.

- - - -

This chapter was inspired partly by a story on Ao3 but I can't remember the name or how I found it.