Lauren's P.O.V.
I had to get her mind off of him. There was no way I was going to let Austin ruin Camila's day; she was worth so much more than him, she just needed to know it.
Dinah seemed to have a plan for getting the girl's mind of of the situation. I followed Dinah's lead because she had known Camila for much longer than I had. I was good with comforting words and advice, but knowing exactly what to do for Camila was beyond me.
After finishing breakfast, the three of us made our way to Camila's room, where we decided on watching High School Musical. When Dinah had revealed Camila's obsession with the Disney movies, she seemed embarrassed, but I was just as in love with the movies as she was, and that seemed to make her feel a bit better about it. Camila put the movie in the DVD player, and cuddled up to Dinah to watch the film.
We hadn't gotten far into the movie when my thoughts began to wonder back to the accident. It happened three years ago next month. I still blamed myself. I was my fault and I knew it. I could have prevented it if I would have just come downstairs sooner. I should have known not to leave her alone, she wasn't ready to be left alone, and now she's dead, and it's my fault. It's my fault.
I felt a warm hand wrap itself in mine, drawing me back to reality. I guess I wasn't being too subtle about the fact that I wasn't paying any attention to the movie. Camila placed her head on my shoulder causing my stomach to erupt in butterflies. God, I liked her. Placing your head in someone's shoulder wasn't supposed to cause butterflies, but everything Camila did gave me butterflies. The smell of her shampoo and her hand in mine wasn't helping much either. It was like a constant swarm of butterflies every time I was around her, but I knew that I needed to push those feelings away, because Camila would never even consider us.
Camila stayed in her position next to me for the rest of the movie, so my thoughts were focussed on her instead of the more unpleasant subject that consumed my mind earlier. I dreaded the moment that she would actually get up, I wish we could stay like this forever, but the movie was close to the end and I knew she would get up soon.
Immediately after the movie ended, she got up to go to the bathroom, leaving Dinah and I alone in her bedroom.
"Breathe, Lauren." Dinah said as soon and Camila was out of earshot.
Dinah was right, I needed to breathe. I don't think I had taken a proper breath since Camila intertwined our fingers nearly two hours ago. I took a deep breath and looked at Dinah, almost in a daze.
"Shit, Lauren. You really like her. Like... You really a like her.." Dinah said, almost in awe.
"Shit, Dinah. I really like her. Like... I really like her. Shit." I replied, cursing myself for my own feelings. I couldn't like Camila. It would only lead to heartbreak. There was absolutely no happy ending to this situation. I liked a girl, she liked guys, and she would probably not want to be my friend if she suspected that I was attracted to her in more than a platonic way. I was terrified of my own emotions; I had always been terrified of my own emotions because I can't control them, and every emotion I feel is magnified. I love hard, I hate hard. I've never been the type settle in the middle, it's always one way or another. Yet another one of the many things I can't stand about myself.
"I know you probably think that there is no possibility that you even have a chance, but please don't give up, Lo. I can see how much you care for her, and that type of feeling should never be disregarded. Just hang in there, okay?" Dinah assured me.
"Thanks, Dinah. I just don't know what to do. I think with Austin and everything I'm just going to continue to be there for her." I answered.
"Oh my God I ship this so hard." Dinah whined. "We have to sail this ship!"
