Annoying Adam

On Your Marks, Get Set, - War!

I checked items off my list.

Snow - cold

Peanut butter

Assorted bugs: flies, beatles, worms

Tacks

Glue

Party Poppers

Tape

Balloons - two or more bags

They just sat there, looking at me innocently, and I grinned evilly at them. I have plans for these preciouses, yes, I do.

"Yes, children," I crooned. "Yes, we shall get the evile creature called Adam. And we will smash him, yes, we will, yes, we will." Well, I sounded like a crazy old witch. But, then again, that's what I felt like.

And that was only part one of my list. The rest made me feel the same way. And the way I was feeling was good for me, bad for everyone else. Adam would never know what was coming. Or what hit him.

I had found all of the traps he had set for me. Crawling though the house worked well. He put them in all of the obvious places: bras like slingshots around the doors, undies on the shower head and handles, and toilet (he had rigged one of my bras to snap towards me when I lifted the lid- it didn't work because I had done that to someone else before-yes, I know, I'm a bad child).

Any who, I collected all of them before anyone came home (there were exactly 25 of them scattered around the house. The a$$hole...

I then proceeded to work on my revenge plan- revenge was a necessary part of war. Otherwise, what did you have to go on other than justice of some such crap like that? Yes, the war officially started tomorrow, but what winner ever followed the rules to a T? No one, that's who.

So, after dinner, I would pay the Black's a surprise visit and start scoping out the landscape.

*****

Knock knock knock.

 I heard someone yell something unintelligible, then footsteps, so I figured I was fine. Adam's mom wasn't home yet, so I should be good for the 30 minutes it would take for me to find out the lower level of their house.

When Adam opened the door, and looked like he was about to jump in fright. I, however, was completely poised and calm (on the outside). Then he recovered, and slumped 'cooly' onto the door.

"Whaddya want May?"

I brushed past him. He stumbled back in shock, but I ignored his reaction and asked him, "Is your mom home yet Adam?"

"Well, that was blunt." I rolled my eyes, figuring out what was coming. Perv. "Now, Stacy, I realize that you want all of this," he paused I'm guessing to gesture at himself, "but there is a rigorous screening test before you can have it." Another pause, and I could feel his eyes burning into my back-and lower. "And I'm not sure if you pass it."

"A$$." I muttered.

"What was that?" he asked.

"You have more d*ck in your personality than in your pants." I retorted.

He mock gasped. "There is a child in this house!"

Yeah, and he has about as much potential as a baked potato-unless you were the one with it, there's nothing there for you.

"He hears nothing. Besides, with you around, and whatever goes on up in your bedroom, he's already emotionally scarred for life."

Adam sighed. "Whatever you say. Now, why are you here, really? Or was it just my magnificent personality that attracted you?"