Annoying Adam

War-Part 1

Yeah, as if I'd be stupid enough to go to sleep without recording everything you did in my room Adam. I may not be a prodigy, but I knew enough to set my camera up to take a picture whenever anything moved so everything you did was recorded. So now, Adam, I know where every trap is set.

I got up and avoided the pool of fake vomit (that smelled suspiciously like the real thing; I had a feeling I knew where my stolen puke ended up), and slowly opened the door to the bathroom. I had no clue what traps he had set in here, because the door had been only slightly cracked, but he was in there for around twenty minutes, so there's no telling how long he was messing with the stuff in the bathroom. After this war, or during it, I'm going to need to get a job to afford all of this stuff.

I smelled my shampoo and conditioner; while the shampoo was fine, Adam had put some seriously gross stuff (I don't know what it was, but it stank like rotten milk). Yeah. I was looking for a job tonight. Hey, maybe Angel and I could both work at the same place. A coffee stand would be good. The tips could end up being really nice...

Any who, back to the traps. I found pop its under the toilet seat (gross!), a fake turd on the toilet seat (yeah, I had seen the idea on Pinterest, and wanted to do it, but now it seemed stupid to repeat something he had done), hair in the sink, and a green slime trail leading out of drain in the shower. Honestly, the green slime looked like something that you would find in the same aisle as PlayDough. But, if that was the best he could do, then there was nothing serious I needed to worry about. I cleaned out everything, then took a shower and started to get dressed.

That's when I smelled it.

Peanut butter.

In horror and realization, I turned around and looked at the shirt I had been about to put on. Turning it inside out, I saw it.

There was peanut butter smeared all over it. That turd knew that I was going to wear this today. And, since he had spread it at night, there were bugs caught in it and buzzing around, trying to get free. This prank was gross. And now I had to change this shirt for another, and there was no time to warm it up if I was going to get all of the peanut butter out of this one and start it soaking. So I just grabbed a random one out, (just a plain black v-cut shirt) threw it on, and shivered. I opened the balcony window to scream at Adam, but something smacked into my face.

Jelly. Raspberry jelly.

Is it bad that the first thing I wanted to know was how he rigged that? But that wasn't the point.

That little turd bucket wanted to make me a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Well guess what? He had another thing coming.

Instead of retaliating, I closed the window, marched right back into the bathroom and washed off my face, then ate my breakfast, scrubbed my shirt clean, and drove to school. I checked to make sure that he hadn't damaged my precious (because then I would have killed him, and I was not up to finding a new spot to hide a body) before getting on, because, as much as I hate to admit it, I'm really not that stupid. But, for this morning, there was going to be some serious sh*t that was going to happen in retaliation. And maybe, just maybe, revenge was actually a dish best served hot.

Because the war doesn't stop at home, Adam. The ARW didn't say one word about school.

So, Adam, if you know what's good for you, you'll give up soon enough.

#!#

"Yes, I know, Mr. Barreau, it's highly irregular, but it would be a good chance for the students to practice with a partner or on their own their Italian," I protested to the quiet old man. "And writing down what they're thinking is also good therapy. Besides, not to blow my own horn or anything, but sto abbastanza avanzata che posso grado i giornali e dare i voti il Lunedi. Sarebbe un giorno libero per voi, se volete. (I'm advanced enough that I can grade the papers and give you the grades on Monday. It would be a free day for you, if you want.)" I was really pushing that no-work thing for him. "Per Favore? (Please?)"