The consequences of a collision ( Girlxgirl Teacherxstudent )

5

Kate and I have had more conversations over the past few weeks. We just relax and talk about anything and everything. It seems to click well between us. She makes me feel good and I think it is the other way around too. Since she is the one who lingers after a lesson, or comes to see me during the break or at the end of the day.

I stand in front of my mentor group and have them for two hours straight. They have mentor class and I have to fill in for a colleague. We discuss some things and then I decide to put on a movie. This way I can grading some work and the class can use the relaxation. During the movie I keep an eye on Kate. Her arms are on the table and she has placed her head on top. It looks like she's about to fall asleep at any moment. I continue to grading and when I look up again a while later, I see tears rolling down her cheeks. I get up and walk over to her. I squat down next to her and gently place my hand on her back. "Kate will you come with me to my office?". I whisper to her. Kate shakes her head slightly. "Yes. Come." I say calmly and gently take her hand. Katja stands up and walks with me to the adjoining office.

"Sit down". I say as I grab a chair for myself and sit across from Kate. "What is going on?". Kate hasn't looked at me yet and her tears haven't stopped. She remains silent. "Is the movie that bad?". Now Kate smiles when I say that and she looks at me too. "Luckily your smile still works. Now come on, what's going on?". I say calmly, gently wiping her tears away. "There is nothing". She said in a sweet soft voice. "Okay, so you just have a piece of dirt in your eye". Kate shakes her head and I wait for her to say something, but nothing comes. "If you don't want to tell me, that's fine. But you know you can tell me anything." Kate nods and opens her mouth to say something, but then closes it again and sighs. "I don't know what's up. I feel so weird and can't concentrate on anything. After the break I have an economics test and I don't understand it and I can't manage to learn and...". She says upset and the tears start flowing again. I grab Katja's face and look into her eyes. "Sssh. Now first take a breath." Kate closes her eyes and takes a few deep breaths. Then she looks at me again. "A little calm again?". I ask softly and Kate nods. "Okay nice. Do you have the books of economics in your bag?". She nods again. I let go of her face and stand up. "Just sit down. I'll grab your bag and I'll help you." I walk into the classroom and I'm actually glad that I can get away from the situation for a while. I find it difficult to see Kate like this and a little scared by what she said. I feel like I may be to blame for her feelings and that will only make it harder. Since I really do have feelings for Kate, which I shouldn't have. So I hope I'm wrong.

"Guys. If I help a classmate of yours, it doesn't mean you should take advantage of it." I have to hold back my laughter as the noisy class is startled and my mission accomplished they are quiet again. "If you don't like the movie. Then go and do something for yourself. If you want to talk, do it quietly. If I'm not ready when the bell rings, you can leave the classroom quietly. Until then I don’t want to hear you." The students nod and I grab Kate's bag. "Liesbeth what is wrong with Kate". Tina, a friend of Kate's, asks. "Nothing bad. Stress for your economics test, so I'll help her." Tina gives me an understanding nod and then I go back to Kate.

Fortunately Kate is a lot calmer now. I sit next to her and put her books on the table. "Now tell me what you don't understand." Kate looks at me a little shy. "Uhm... The whole chapter actually." I can hardly understand it, she says it so softly. "Okay. We still have plenty of time. We'll go through it together. I will try to explain it to you as easily as possible and if you don't understand something just let me know". Kate nods and we go to work in peace. I'm glad Kate is starting to understand it more and more. "That pen hasn't done you any harm, has it?" I say when Kate puts her pen in her mouth for the umpteenth time. She takes the pen out of her mouth, looks at it once, and we pick up where we left off. Not much later, the pen goes back into her mouth. I smile a little inside and look at her for a moment. I can't help it, but seeing her like this makes that special feeling inside stronger. Kate realizes that I am looking at her and looks at me with a sideways eye. I see a glint in her eyes. I put my hand on top of the hand that holds the pen in her mouth and push her hand down. I really can't stop watching this. Kate gives me a sweet smile. "Sorry automatism. Didn't know it distracted you like that". I bite my lower lip and shake my head. "It's bad for your teeth and a waste of that pen. But do you understand now?". Kat smiles and nods. "Yes, thank you. Should be fine later."

We get up and when we enter the classroom it is empty. "Is it that late already. I didn't even hear the bell". Kate says and I look at my watch and see that the bell has already rung five minutes ago. "No, neither do I. Then take a quick break and good luck with your test." "Thank you, it’s going to be all right now." Kate walks away and I sit behind my desk. "Shouldn't you take a break?". Kate asks as she turns to me. "Have to finish something. I eat something in between." Kate walks up to me and sits down at my desk. "Can I help you?". I doubt for a moment. "No, you don't have to. Just take a break. I just need to grading some tests, I'll be through that in a minute". Kate shakes her head. "Let me help you please. I don't feel like going outside." I laugh a little and hand Katja a stack of papers. In a pleasant silence we both grading the tests. I don't know if she's doing it on purpose, but I've had to push her hand down several times to get the pen out of her mouth. Each time she would look at me with a twinkle in her eye. Without Kate knowing, she gave me a happy birthday