The consequences of a collision ( Girlxgirl Teacherxstudent )

10

Fortunately, things are not weird between Kate and me at school. We continue to treat each other the same way. I try to keep some distance between us. If I'm too close to her I have a hard time no to touch her. It's a good thing the summer break are coming. I was actually supposed to go back to Australia with Josh after three years, but tomorrow I'll get the key to my new home. Which I do find difficult. Miss my family very much and can really use them at the moment, but with the move I also get enough distractions. Tonight I have first survive the school party and then seek peace.

The prom is actually more fun than I thought. There is a good atmosphere and it is also nice to see your colleagues in a more relaxed way. The only thing I have a bit of trouble with is Kate. I see that she is having a good time and is dancing with several classmates. I would have loved to have been who she is dancing with. I have been keeping an eye on Kate for a while, if she is somewhere quiet. Hoping she'll look my way one time. It takes a while, but luckily after a while we have eye contact and I can make it clear to her that she has to come. She comes right up to me and I walk away. I don't want anyone to see us walk away together. "What is it?". She caught up with me in the hallway. "Need some help in my classroom." We walk in silence to my classroom.

Arriving in my classroom I quickly close the door and grab Kate's hand. "Do you have a problem dancing with me?" I ask her a little unsure. That's really all I want all evening, but I'm a little afraid that she isn't waiting for it or feels uncomfortable about it. "Thought you'd never ask." I wrap my arms around her neck and she holds me around my waist and pushes me closer to her. In a pleasant silence we dance to the music from below. It's a good time. I have longed for this for so long. I wish this moment would never end. I feel completely relaxed. "How I wish I could be somewhere else. Far away from here." When I say that, Kate tilts her head back a little so that she looks at me. "Where would you have liked to be ?". I put my forehead against hers. "I don't care. As long as it's somewhere where nobody knows us." We look deeply into each other's eyes. I can see in the glint in her eyes that she understands what I mean. "Cookies". I say and step away from her as quickly as possible.

I stand by the window and stare out. Why am I making everything more difficult? Don't just make it harder for myself, but also for Kate. I don't want to do any of this to her. If I had to control my feelings from the begininng, I would have saved her a lot. "Sorry. I shouldn't have brought you here." I hear Kate sit down on a table. "No sorry please. I didn't want to miss this moment". I walk over to her and sit across from her. "No, neither do I, but that just makes it more difficult". She grabs my hands when I say that. Really every touch of her brings this nice feeling inside. But it can no longer be like this. "Maybe it's good that it’s summer break. I think it's better if we don't see or speak to each other for a while. Maybe then I can get you out of my mind a bit. Or at least see you as an normal student again ". Not that I want to, but I'm falling for her harder and harder and don't know how much longer I can hold back. "Actually I want to go against this very hard. I don't know if I can go on without you for so long, but maybe it's the best option". I just want to hold her when she says so. So I give her a big hug. "I would rather see it differently, but there is no other way. I'm sorry I let it come to this". I feel so guilty towards her. "Please stop with that sorry. You're not the only one to blame for this. Well actually you are. You thought it necessary to walk in the middle of the hallway". I give her a kiss on the forehead and luckily there is a more relaxed atmosphere. "Sorry I got in the way". I give her a wink and get a little nudge in return and both of us smile again. We continue to talk about light-hearted things for a while and then go downstairs again.

Fortunately, no one noticed that we were gone together. I can't take my eyes off Kate for the rest of the time we're here. Knowing I'm not going to see her for six weeks. It's going to be six tough weeks, but I have to do this for her. Maybe the feeling will diminish if we don't see each other. It is time for the students to go home. Kate gives me another big hug and I try to enjoy it as much as possible, knowing that this is the last one. After I have cleaned up everything with my colleagues, I can finally go home. At home all my emotions come out. I punch the punching bag for a while and fall asleep on the couch crying.