𝗧𝗘𝗘𝗡 𝗣𝗔𝗥𝗘𝗡𝗧𝗦. jungwon

threeteen↷

Jungwon sat on the grass as he placed his backpack on his lap and hugged it

His heart was broken and his mind was messed up

He was running out of time to change Soomin's mind

How much he hasn't been home? Probably a week or so

He would just go to his friends' house, one day Heeseung and Jake, the other Sunghoon and the other Ni-ki

This cicle has been repeating itself for days

Jungwon sniffed and watched two little kids playing not-so-far-away from him

Puffy eyes, red nose and lack of sleep and energy. Won has been crying himself to sleep, or at least those 2 or 3 hours he slept at night

Will I ever be able to see mine playing with others?

The question that always roamed in his mind along with the what ifs and imaginations that will never be real

"I only have three weeks.." he whispered and stood up with a small rock in his hand

He approached the river and took a deep breathe before harshly throwing the rock in the water, making it all splash around him

He was frustated, tired and a hopeless father

Never in his life Jungwon thought his sanity could depend on a person

He didn't recognized himself in the mirror, messy hair, heavy eyebags, lack of energy and swollen eyes

Nothing the old him had

"Wonie look!" Jungwon's depressed eyes followed where the girl pointed

"Don't you think that bag is awesome?" The boy ignored her and kept walking, hoping to leave her behind in the crowd

"Wait for me!" The brat unluckly catched up with him and started to cling on his poor arm

"Will you buy it for me as a gift?" The girl pleaded him "gift for what?"

"I'm helping you to forget that bitch and to start a better life with me! Isn't it enough!!?" Jungwon had enough. He harshly removed her arm and faced her with an emotionless face

"Listen Kim fucking Young-Hee, I'm never gonna be interessed in someone like you, never. You use me just to buy whatever you want! Your face is red like a cherry because of how much fucking make up you use! Do you even know how to put it on? You are a brat, a spoiled one, did you realised that? You are so annoying, so much. I rather die than spending another second with you and your bratty attitude" he let it all out, everything he was thinking. Jungwon hated Young-Hee, he couldn't stand her, but who could?

Definitely not him

"So stay away from me. Don't come more than twenty meters closer or I'll throw that pig pink bag of yours in the trash bin" Jungwon walked away, leaving her in the crowd alone as people bumped into her

"Jungwon are you ok..?" Jake asked as soon as he saw the boy coming back home with a angry expression, different from the other days since he would always come back with a depressed expression on his handsome face

"I kinda dumped a brat" the aussie stopped playing with his dog and looked at him "you did what?"

"I dumped Young-Hee, I just can't stand her. She gets on my nerves everytime she breaths" Jungwon answered while opening a water bottle as he sat beside Jake

"And you are sure this is the best decision?" Jungwon nodded and drank half of the bottle

"I don't want anything to get between me and Soomin"

"Have you already thought how to change her mind?" Heeseung joined the conversation

The younger nodded "I did, I hope this works. I'm hopeless"

No one asked about his physical or mental health directly, but the four could tell that their friend wasn't ok just by the way faint sobs came from his room at night

They always tried to distract him from the situation by taking him out, but he would always check his phone to see if Jay updated him about her

"Jungwon-ah, do you want to take a break from school?" Seeing how he was failing all his exams, it was just better to take a break to help his mental health. Or so Heeseung thought

"No! School is the only thing that let me see her, I can't stop going" Heeseung made eye contact with Jake and nodded

"Jungwon, can we talk about what's happening..?" Heeseung started as a sigh followed his words

"Uh? What do you mean Heeseung-hyung?" Jungwon tilted his head, playing dumb and denying whatever was happening these days

"About you, are you.... are you ok?"

"Yes hyung, I'm ok" lie, that was a lie. A made up lie, a smile appeard on his lips, even if it held nothing but desperation

The boy knew he wasn't physically strong or mentally fine, but too much things has been burderning him and he didn't wanted to be the final drop to their busy lifes

"No Jungwon, you aren't. We heard you every night crying yourself to sleep, we can see it from your face, your red nose and how you can barely do anything because of how tired you are. Stop pretending to be ok, stop using the strong mask. It's ok to cry" the last drop, he just couldn't keep all inside anymore. He bottled his feelings up until the bottle was overfloading

One second and the boy was already sobbing while tears fell down his pearl-like cheeks

"Wasn't I a good boyfriend Heeseung-hyung? Did I ever not took good care of her?" Heeseung patted his back "let it all out" he whispered

"Do you think I will ever see my child playing with other kids? Will I ever experience the euphoric feeling of being a dad?"