Mending Old Wounds

We're a Mess

Sunday July 4th

Bakugou's POV:

"Kacchan?" I felt a light pressure on my shoulder, and a gentle shake, "Kacchan, wake up. We have to report to Kido in a little over an hour, and Shoto brought us coffee and bagels."

"Halfie didn't get me that sugary shit you drink did he?" I spoke with my eyes still closed.

Deku chuckled, "No, he got you a red eye."

Damn. My hero.

"Guess that bastard's good for something."

"Don't be mean," Deku playfully scolded.

I just grunted and finally decided to open my eyes, only to be met with two shining green emeralds and freckled cheeks, staring at me sleepily, head resting on the pillow next to mine. Barely an arm's length away. I could've reached out and touched his face. Fucking Deku.

"Hey," he spoke just above a whisper.

"Morning," I did my best to keep my face hard and neutral, but it was difficult when Deku made me feel so soft.

He pulled his bottom lip between his teeth and drew his brows together, obviously mulling something over in his analytical nerd brain, and I had to force myself not to fixate on his lips. "Do you... do you want to talk about it? About the nightmare?"

I rolled to face the ceiling, crossed my arms, and huffed, "Not fucking really."

"It might help."

"Tch."

When I stole a glance, Deku was giving me one of his stupid reassuring smiles and, like hell I would ever admit it, but he was right. Had enough sessions with Hound Dog to know it would be better if I just got the shit off my chest, but goddamnit I just-

"You don't have to tell me, but-"

"Sludge Villain," my mouth fucking betrayed me. "It was the Sludge Villain, and everything was the same, except..."

Deku waited for me to finish, annoyingly patient and attentive. "Except?"

"Except All Might didn't come and you fucking died, Deku!"

I squeezed my eyes shut and felt a rough hand on my cheek and a thumb swept under my eye wiping away tears I didn't even know had escaped from my eyes. I froze and tried to keep my breathing even.

"It's okay, Kacchan. You know why?" Tell me he's not. "Because I am here."

Couldn't help it, I snorted, "Fucking nerd." He laughed and it sounded like bells and hope and it twisted my insides. He sat up, crossed his legs, and rested his hands in his lap.

"You know...I still have nightmares about summer camp, first year." I chanced another glance his way, but he was looking down at his own hands, brows creased with a pained expression on his face. "We never really talked about it. I mean, we did, but not really. I was so scared, Kacchan." He barely whispered the last part and a tear dropped from his face and landed on a clenched fist. "The Sludge Villain attack was quick, a-and I didn't really think about it at the time, I just... acted, but losing you through that portal was... it was different. I had time to think about all the worst-case scenarios, and even after we got you back, those scenarios kept replaying in my worst nightmares." 

I got up and mirrored the way he was sitting. I wanted to reach out, grab the back of his neck and just fucking kiss him, but we weren't there yet, and I had to choose that exact moment to think about Todoroki. Eijiro would be okay as long as I told him about it, he might be a little disappointed that he wasn't there for it, but he'd get over it. Todoroki, on the other hand, was still a wild card. I settled for placing my hands on top of Deku's clenched fists.